So you go to college and you life changes infinitely for the better. Everything is going superbly.
6 weeks in you go home to your mum. No sooner are you in the door when she lets out a scream.
'What's happened to you?' she wails as if she's just witnessed a serious catastrophe.
You are immediately concerned thinking something serious is wrong. 'What Mum?' You ask.
'You're so fat' she screams poking your gut with her finger like it's strange sort of jellyfish.
This enrages you. You see College life has been different to living at home, what with no one cooking you fresh meals, having to forage for yourself and live off a €35 weekly food budget that could be far better spent on Buckfast some things have fallen to the wayside, namely healthy eating.
There are some strange eating habits you pick up in college. Below is a summation and possibly the cause of the gut your mother is now crying on couch about.
Advertisement
Your beer standards have dropped considerably due to budget constrains. You now drink Dutch Gold with unimaginable appreciation.
A can of Red Bull is your regular breakfast beverage. During exam time you mainline 5 cans of this in an evening.
You live off cereal. A bucket bowl of cereal is considered a healthy breakfast/lunch/dinner/sober or drunken snack.
Advertisement
When you visit people you eat them out of house and home. Food you actually don't have to pay for is such a luxury and it's necessary to take complete advantage.
You're on first name terms with Chang, Mary and Susan in Charlie's 1, 2,& 3.
The chipper by your night link route have your order ready and waiting for you. They just know what you want.
Advertisement
You eat Koka noodles 3-4 times weekly.
You have a calendar reminder on your phone for the Domino's Meal Deal on Tuesday and you never miss it.
You enter iron stomach competitions regularly for the free food.
Advertisement
Beans on toast is a decent hot dinner.
You know Tesco sells cheaper food after 6 pm and will never buy anything before then.
5 a day is a totally unrealistic daily target. It might be achieved weekly
Advertisement
You have convinced yourself that supermarket 'Cola' is almost the same as Coke.
A Spar sandwich is a gourmet meal.
An empty fridge and/or food cupboard is a regular sight.
You have a newfound appreciation for your mum's cooking. Her roast chicken is a veritable feast.
In hindsight your student days are numbered and the idea of staying in drinking Evian throughout your short career as a student is unappealing…
