Attraction is weird. You can be pushing back your feelings of love early in a relationship and then the next minute you see one damn thing that shatters your image of them. It just kinda happens. Some call it being shallow but I like to think of it as being selective. Some of these things can't be changed, everyone understands that, it's just that we're probably not the one for you.
1. That's an interesting laugh you got there.
Guys love a girl with a sense of humour, we really do. It makes us feel validated and special, that this person wants to spend time with you because you're fun. But then you get people who's laugh can split ear drums open. It's kinda funny the first couple of times and you have to give the benefit of the doubt that you were just so fucking funny they momentarily forgot how to laugh but that's just being seriously optimistic.
2. "Smells like old people."
Bad smells are an obvious turn off for everyone (or at least they should be) but what about when it's not a bad smell it's just....weird. Like, you can't describe the smell properly but it just sits with you in an uncomfortable way. Sometimes they're way too sweet, like you're in a rotting fruit bowl and other times it smells like you're back at your granny's.
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3. Crunch, crunch, crunch...sip, sip, sip....
Personally I love a girl that can eat. When she can go bone to bone with me on some ribs I'm ready to rock her world....just as soon as the 'meat sweats' go away and I've had a little nap to help it along. It's a healthy attitude to have but it's not about how much you eat. It's the fact that it sounds like you're eating stones in a windy cave. Even if they're eating jelly it's audible from across the room, along with those huge inhales in between chews. Slow down, please, everyone can wait until you're finished. Same goes for drinking. Just leave it down and let it cool before you drink it. It only takes a minute.
4. Your face shouldn't look like a porcelain doll.
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Make up is a weird one because too much disgusts some guys but drives others wild and ditto for no make up. This is more when someone is really really good at putting on make up and that's all good if you are at a photoshoot or something but when you are just meeting up for a coffee it spells out two things: 1) We have no idea what your face looks like and 2) We'll need to give you 24 hours notice if we just wanna go and grab a burger or something. Plus it's just a little unsettling.
5. Put away the phone.
Nobody cares what's on your Snapchat or this time that you looked really good in a picture four years ago. It's really nice that you want to share your past with us but I can see these myself at any time. I'm here for you, not your phone or your old profile picture.
6. You'll wake the neighbours.
If you've ever watched porn you'll see that the women in it are constantly talking/moaning/shouting/calling you a little bitch. Every guy likes the noise of sex, it assures us that we are, in fact, doing a good job and nothing satisfies us more than satisfying you but when they bust out the amateur porn star act it's really off putting. Maybe it's that scene from When Harry Met Sally but we know we aren't that good and we don't appreciate acting during sex, especially when it's just the fumbling run of the mill, 'first time having sex with each other' sex.
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7. Sharing, in this case, is not caring.
We're not greedy it's just that when I want something I order that. I'll gladly share a bit of my food with you, especially if I like the looks of yours. That's just equivalent exchange. I understand when you just want a taste but when you're prepared to eat half of the fries that's just you lying to yourself and me already deciding this isn't gonna work out.
Video: Guys Talk About Dating Deal Breakers
Credit: BuzzFeedYellow
