Sex & Dating

So You Have A Same Sex Crush: How To Deal

So You Have A Same Sex Crush: How To Deal

You're pretty sure you're straight. I mean, you've liked boys ever since you watched Peter Pan when you were three and realized that tights don't just look good on girls. You've had a few boyfriends, maybe one love and a fuck ton of flings, all of them male. So you're feeling kind of freaked out when you realize that you have a real, sizzling, authentic crush on someone you know who's...a girl. No doubt you've heard the term 'girl-crush' thrown around, a phrase meant to safely distance the admirer from any hints of homosexual desire. But this is not a girl-crush, it's a real crush. You don't just like her style, think she's beautiful and want to be her best friend, you want to take her out on dates, cuddle, make-out and more.

 

 

The first thing to know is that it's okay to have a crush on anyone you want to. Since the dawn of time, humans have been obsessed with making up rules in an effort to organize and stratify society. Primary among these is the homosexual taboo, or the belief that homosexual relationships are somehow dirty, profane, illegitimate or not as 'real' as heterosexual ones. This is a load of bullshit. The way I see it is this: it's your body, your heart, your feelings, your life. You have to decide what's real for you because no one else can do it for you (though they might try to).

 

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The second thing to realize is that labels can be terribly superficial. For instance, having a crush on one person of the same sex doesn't necessarily make you gay or bisexual. If you consider yourself to be straight, you're straight! If you think you might be gay or bisexual, maybe you are! Sex and love are always more complicated than the world wants them to be, which makes having a few grey areas in your love life a source of stress and confusion. The truth is that it doesn't make much sense to try to jam everyone into a specific category when, maybe, they really can't be summed up by a single description. Therefore, don't worry about the social absolutes of what you are, just roll with whatever you feel.

 

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Okay, now that we've established that it's totally A-Ok to like whoever you like, your next thought might be: how the fuck do I go about this? Having a crush on someone of the same sex is tricky because the social default of a same-sex relationship is friendship rather than romance. Therefore, you really have to tune your radar to the kinds of signals you're putting out and the responses you're receiving from the other person. Luckily, people tend to have a sixth sense about when someone like-likes them, it's a gut feeling, you just know. Flirt with her like you would a with guy and she'll pick up on it.

 

 

Like any relationship, the key is to take it slow at the beginning. Really get to know the person you like, make little gestures like bringing her Starbucks order when you guys hang out or buying her a little present for her birthday. If she's not into it, she'll let you know. So long as you're considerate and polite and respect her boundaries, there's really no way you can do any harm. Who knows, she might be feeling the exact same way about you and is too afraid to do or say anything! If you both feel that certain chemistry, you never know what could happen.

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Video: When You Have A  Girl Crush

 

 

Credit: BuzzFeedYellow

Emily Yaremchuk

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