17 Things More Likely To Happen Than Winning The Lottery

To make this more interesting, I'm going to use the odds of winning the Euromillions as a reference point, because the jackpot is better, it is available all over Europe, and so more people would have an interest in it. The only problem is that because so many people can play in it, the odds of winning it are much longer than say the Irish Lottery. For those who haven't ever played it, the Euromillions works in that players have to pick 5 different numbers from 1 to 50, and then two "Lucky Stars" from 11 numbers. To win the jackpot, obviously, you have to match all of these seven numbers. Unfortunately, the odds of this happening are 1 in 116,531,800. But with an average Jackpot of over €50 million, you might still be tempted. So before you rush out to buy your ticket, here are some things that are more likely to happen than winning the Euromillions.

Date A Millionaire (In America)

Odds: 1 in 215

That's right, you are over 500,000 times more likely to date a millionaire than you are to win the Euromillions. Ain't nothin' wrong with being a gold digger, men and women alike!

 

Find A Four-Leaf Clover

Odds: 1 in 10,000

Perceived as one of the luckiest things that can happen to anyone, in the context of this list, it appears to actually be quite common.

 

Win An Oscar

Odds: 1 in 11,500

Obviously there's a lot of hard work involved in getting yourself to a level where you'll be considered for the award, but of course, you don't have to act, and can be anything from a singer to a make-up artist, to a big computer nerd.

 

Average Golfer Getting A Hole In One

Odds: 1 in 12,500

And the odds significantly decrease if it's a pro golfer, obviously, with the odds of one of them scoring one being 2500/1.

 

Date An American Supermodel

Odds: 1 in 88,000

This, of course, is working off the assumption that all men are equal and that I am just as appealing a male specimen as Zac Efron. Which, to say the absolute least is optimistic.

 

Be Dealt A Royal Flush In Poker

Odds: 1 in 650,000

The best hand in poker, for those who don't know, it consists of a ten, jack, queen, king and ace, all of the same suit.

 

Win An Olympic Gold Medal

Odds: 1 in 662,000

Again, like winning an Oscar, there is an incredible amount of hard work involved in actually getting there. But with these odds, even if you did no training at all and just showed up on the day of the event, you'd still be more likely of winning a medal than winning a Euromillions jackpot.

 

Drown In The Bath

Odds: 1 in 685,000

If you think you're at risk, remember to bring those armbands.

 

Be Killed When Using A Right-Handed Product (Left-Handed People Only)

Odds: 1 in 4.4-7,000,000

This is the main reason why the life expectancy of lefties is up to 7 years shorter than right-handed people, but I'm left-handed and I don't ever feel like my life has been in danger when using a scissors with the wrong hand. Although it is pretty frustrating.

 

Hit By A Falling Airplane Part

Odds: 1 in 10,000,000

I'm not sure how big these pieces are, and whether they are critical to the plane's ability to stay in the air. Which if they are, means much more people are in danger than the unfortunate person getting hit on the head with a piece of metal.

(Note: Picture will only make sense to fans of Breaking Bad)

 

Struck And Killed By Lightning

Odds: 1 in 10,000,000

But the odds of just getting struck by lightning at any time in your life, and not die, is anything from 3 to 7,000 to 1. I couldn't nail down any exact figures.

 

Become The President Of The United States

Odds: 1 in 10,000,000

You have to be born in the United States to be the President, so obviously this makes it impossible for most people in the world to become elected. But anything that is less likely than Honey Boo-Boo's mother becoming the leader of the free world is not something that you should ever put money towards.

 

Attacked By A Shark (Again, In America)

Odds: 1 in 11,500,000

Considering how scared everyone is of sharks, this number is actually ridiculously big And it's still ten times smaller than the odds of winning this stupid lottery.

 

Give Birth To Identical Quadruplets

Odds: 1 in 13 million

This means that a single egg will have had to have been split up into four different parts, and then for them all to grow individually and be born healthily. Even if you know any triplets, let alone quadruplets, just think about, are they identical?

 

Become A Saint

Odds: 1 in 20,000,000

The only question I have about this number is whether or not it includes non-Catholics. Given how surprising the rest of the numbers have been, I can only assume that it does. (Although seriously, probably not).

 

Crushed By Vending Machine

Odds: 1 in 112,000,000

Considering how cheap some people are and are willing to shake the machines in the hope of getting free food, this number is surprisingly high.

 

Die Waiting For The Numbers To Be Announced

Odds: Depends on when you buy the ticket.

According to the death rates in Britain, the average 15-24 year old would actually have to wait until 12 minutes before the draw is announced before buying their ticket, to make it more likely that they will win the jackpot than to die waiting for it. And anyone over 85 has to wait until literally the last second before this is becomes true. Obviously being healthy and exercising can skew the odds in your favour, but when you find out that you can only buy tickets up until 90 minutes before the draw is made, this whole paragraph becomes irrelevant, and you are basically always more likely to die before the draw is made, than to win when it finally is.

 

As you can probably tell, I'm not the biggest fan of any lottery.