Manners are a good thing, as is social etiquette. They help society along and everyone gets on a little better. Some of these niceties can fuck right off though. Sometimes manners are just inconvenient, or cause a lot of offence when they aren't adhered to. Honestly niceties are a good thing and I'll stick to them but these particular ones need to fuck off.
1. Having to say hello to someone you haven't seen in ages.
You're in college, chances are you've moved to a different town. When you see someone you know you're kind of obligated to stop up and say hello to them, then have about five minutes of questioning each other broken up by silence. You can see they don't really want to talk and they see it in you. At it's worst when you were never particularly fond of each other.
2. Someone offers you a handshake when you first meet them.
For me handshakes are a formal thing reserved for meeting the parents, job interviews and that part in mass where you offer each other peace. When I'm drunk and know I'm probably never going to speak to this person again I don't want to shake hands. Hello is a perfectly fine word to use in that scenario.
3. Asking to use the bathroom.
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It bugs the shit outta me when you have a couple of people over to your house and one of them asks if they can use the bathroom. They hardly expect me say "you want to do that? In my home? You want to leave your waste in MY home?!" Just ask where it is you don't need permission.
4. Replying instantly.
Some people have a real problem with this. Sure it's nice to reply to them immediately but sometimes it's just not viable. I don't mean intentionally leaving the reply for hours, I mean just for the sake of ten, twenty minutes. The only time this really comes into effect is when you have someone that's going to send you about forty messages in the twenty minutes it took you to reply. Or people that always have to reply. When I say "see you in a few" I don't need you to text "okay see you in a few" back....I'm gonna see you in a few.
5. People getting offended when you don't notice they've changed something.
You bought some new shoes, how much time do you think I spend looking at people's shoes? I'm sorry I didn't compliment them, if you had told me they were new I would have given my opinion on them but you didn't. Your fault. Same goes for haircuts. Women are terrible for this, as are men with perpetually short hair. Women change the shade of their hair and it gets pampered or whatever. Other than that there's no real change except the new hole in your wallet. Minute changes aren't instantly noticeable and I'm sorry I can't tell shades apart.
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6. Having to thank everyone for the birthday messages on social media.
I like seeing these posts, absolutely. I love the feeling I get when I've collected so and so amount and, much like Dudley Dursley, dislike it when I got more last year. Now it's not like I get hundreds of them. Still it's unreasonable to expect you to like and comment on every single post and I'll make an effort to like all of them. People getting annoyed that you commented on another one and not theirs is psychotic, especially when they've only said 'HB'. The fuck do I say to that?
7. Having to be a butler/host.
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In my head I would say that when you're in someone's house you're the guest and it's up to you to clean up after yourself. I don't mean making yourself at home just that you don't expect the host to treat you like visiting royalty just because you've come to their house. Clean your own damn plate and offer to clean theirs. Worst is when they've been to your house a couple times. You know where the crisps. Ask first but don't expect the host to get you a pack.
8. Or expecting me to make a big deal out of it being your birthday.
When it's your birthday I'll wish you a happy birthday and generally treat you nicer but I'm not gonna make a big deal out of it. At some point you're gonna have to realize that your birthday doesn't really mean that much unless it's a milestone. When you turn twenty two, people will care and be happy that it's your birthday but don't be upset that the world didn't get you a present or throw you a party.
9. Waiting for everyone's food to come along before you start eating.
When you go to dinner you are obviously hungry. When your food comes along you want to eat it. Instead you have to sit there with your dinner right in front of you, the smells enticing you to dig in but there's always that one person that won't get their food for fucking ages. Just let me eat my damn food it's right in front of me.
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10. When someone wants you to take off your shoes in their house.
Okay it's their house their rules but seriously, you can take your shoes off if you want but don't make other people do it. Even if their feet don't smell they'll probably be conscious of it. Worse is when the person's feet do smell and now you both have to pretend like you don't notice it. I haven't been walking through dog shit and chalk dust. I'm not gonna destroy your precious floors just let me keep my damned shoes on.
Video: Moments That Are Hell For Awkward People
Credit: BuzzFeedYellow
