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10 Signs Your Best Friend is a B!tch

When you were younger it was really easy to tell if a person was a bully or not, but as you get older it's not so simple. When you grow up, you're kind of expected to have a thicker skin. As you mature the jokes are rarely 'Knock and knock' and more of the 'Your mother', variety. It might sound strange but it can be really easy to have a friend who's actually just a dickhead to you without realising it.

1. You're the Butt End of all her Jokes

You have become the punchline of all her jokes. Look, we all have that one friend that gets way more slagging then the rest but there has to be a limit. She goes out of her way to make sure you know exactly where your place is.

2. They Can Give It But Can't Take It

Slagging matches are always good fun but if they only go one way then they tire easily. She is in her element when the spot light is on you but as soon as you turn it back at her, she goes into a huff and tries to make you feel guilty about making fun of her so you, in turn apologize.

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3. She Always Points Out Your Faults

She knows what you're self conscious of so she uses it to make sure you stay in your place. She'll start the sentence with, 'I'm not being a bitch or anything, but...' Or 'No Offence, but..' If there's a 'but' in the sentence you know where it's going to go.

4. Back Handed Compliments

This is pretty much used in combination with the pointing out of your faults. She compliments you, you say thanks, and then you realise what she said.

'I love your hair like that, it really takes the attention off your nose'

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'Awe thanks, wait what?'

5. She's Disappears and Reappears

When you're together, she gets really possessive for weeks at a time. She is constantly hanging off you and wanting to spend time with you but then she'll disappear for another month. Any plans for coffee are rarely fulfilled.

6. She's Completely Different Around Other People

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When ye're alone she's actually grand but when you are with others, she's a different person. If you're with people she doesn't really know, she gets nervous and she immediately falls back on insulting you for giggles.

7. She is Constantly Changing Friend Groups

Are you the only constant friend in her social circle? She goes through friends like it's going out of fashion. It's never just an acquaintance. When she makes a new friend, 'she loves this girl'. It always ends in a fight and it's ALWAYS the other person's fault.

8. She is Always 'One Upping' You.

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If you have a sore finger, hers is about to fall off. Have a date with a boy? Some guy just asked for her hand in marriage.

9. She Has No Problem in Ditching You

If something better comes along, she has no problem in not meeting up with you and cancelling at a minutes notice.

10. Her Friendship is Like a Favour to You

You should be honored. Like seriously, even just to be in her presence should be enough.

 

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Sarah Power
Article written by
Unnatural blonde with a natural gift for wrapping presents. Never had one lesson. Big fan of Sex and the City, Eddie Vedder and men who have a good strong whistle. Hope to be a responsible woman one day, but for now I'm enjoying being a child in a woman's body. Pet peeve: People who abbreve everything.
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