10 Signs You’re At An Irish 21st Birthday Party
The Americans might have their Sweet 16’s but no one does a 21st Birthday quite like the Irish!
1. The Awkward Arrival
This could go one of two ways. Either you get there way too early and you don’t know anyone, or you arrive late when everyone’s twisted and you can’t find anyone. Whatever the situation, keep calm, stay away from pervy Uncles, and hide in the bathroom until you bump into one of your friends. Standard procedure.
2. Baby Pictures EVERYWHERE
It’s not an Irish 21st without Junior Infants pictures. And if you’re lucky, you might even be in a few of them. Just cringe silently and pray nobody recognises you while drawing ALL attention to the state of the birthday boy/girl.
3. The Wait For Food
0nion Rings. Cocktail Sausages. Chicken Wings. Hang Sandwiches. It’s the only reason anyone ever goes to a 21st. From the moment you get your first drink, all discussion will be centred on when the food will arrive. Oh, and the birthday boy/girl. Can’t forget them… hem.
4. The Dance Debate
Shortly after the food is served, the next issue will be when to tackle the dancefloor. Standard fears like ‘Is it too early?’, ‘Should we get another drink first?’, ‘Everyone will laugh at us!’ etc etc are quickly rendered irrelevant due to the pleas of the birthday girl (boys don’t care about this stuff) to make it look like everyone’s having a good time. Awkward swaying commences. You pretend you’re drunker than you are and that you don’t care that people are staring. But you do. You do.
5. Jagerbombs
Too sober to dance? The obvious solution is Jaeger Bombs. The unspoken rule of Irish 21sts is that every single guest MUST buy a Jaeger Bomb for the birthday boy/girl. Such is the Irish way.
6. Elderly People Staring Disapprovingly From The Corner
Going hand in hand with numbers 4 and 5, at every Irish 21st there will be a group of Grannys, Grandads and Great Aunts sitting in the corner sipping G&T’s and watching the whole debacle of a party unfold with a look of shock and disappointment. 10 points if you can get one of them to do a shot by the end of the night.
7. Rock The Boat
It’s not a REAL Irish 21st until you’re sitting on the sticky floor of a dirty pub, in between the legs of someone you don’t know, having the absolute CRAIC in an imaginary boat. Who cares if you spent €100 on your dress? This ritual is ESSENTIAL.
8. 21 Kisses
Simultaneously the cringiest and most scandalous moment of the night. Especially if the birthday boy/girl doesn’t have a significant other. Who will their 21st kiss be?? What will the parents think?! What if enough people don’t line up? Did they just have to get their best friend to kiss them TWICE?? Thrilling stuff.
9. The Speeches
Usually an entirely boring affair. At this point everyone is tired of standing in a circle with no music on, and is slowly edging their way back to the bar for a sneaky drink. By this time of the night the birthday boy/girl should be way too ossified to be coherent, so 10 minutes of slurred thank you’s is the norm. Mammy is presented with a great bunch of flowers of course.
10. The After Party
No Irish 21st ever ends in the pub. It ends with an invite for EVERYONE to come back to the house, with Dad boasting that they have enough booze to open their own bar. The sesh is guaranteed to last until AT LEAST 7am, finally ending after Mammy cooks everyone a fry for ‘soakage’.
