11 Irrational Thoughts Every Worrier Has On A Daily Basis
Anyone who isn't a worrier will never truly understand the struggles of us worrying folk. Breaking out into a sweat, heart racing, thinking you're going to die because of a mole on your back that's always been there. All the non-worriers should be fucking thanking God they're not a member of the Worry Club because it's a tough business to be in. Here are 11 irrational thoughts every worrier has on a daily basis:
1) Hearing A Noise At Night
This is it. I'm about to be murdered. Don't even try to run and hide. RIP me, it was good while it lasted.
2) Someone Not Texting Back
They've died. We were having a full on conversation for the last two hours and now they've dropped off the face of the earth and left me here, alone and with many more unanswered questions.
3) Walking Through Airport Security
I'm not a terrorist. I'm not a terrorist. I'm not a terrorist. Please don't think I'm a terrorist. Act casual and non-terrorist like.
4) The Phone Ringing At Odd Times
Someone has died. I can't answer. It's a death notice and I just don't feel as though I'm ready for this crushing news.
5) Getting Shampoo In Your Eyes
I'm blind. I hope I enjoyed my life full of sight because I'm now blind. *Ow*
6) Cooking Anything Risky (Aka Chicken)
Is it cooked right the way through? I don't want to get food poisoning, after all.
7) Speaking Your Mind In Group Situations (Or Any Situation Really)
They hate me. I shouldn't have said that, they're going to hate me now. Bye, bye friends, I'll never forget you.
8) Waking Up Before Your Alarm
HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY ALARM DIDN'T GO OFF! AM I LATE??!
9) Leaving Your House In A Rush
Did I lock the back door? Turn off the iron, oven, hair straightener? Put the alarm on? What if I don't go back and check everything and the house burns down? That's just not a risk I'm willing to take, to be honest.
10) Leaving The Shops Without Buying Anything
I didn't steal anything, I swear, please stop looking at me as though I'm some sort of prized criminal.
11) Googling Your Symptoms When You're Sick
I'm going to die. I have Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis and that's just it for me. #Peaceoutbitches
