The 11 Types Of People We All Secretly Stalk On Facebook
It's no big secret that each of us spend shameless hours crawling through pages and pages of pictures and statuses on Facebook when we have nothing better to be doing. We all love a good creep every now and again to get the juices flowing. There's something quite satisfying about scrolling through someone else's profile, sniggering at the cringy statuses or the filtered pictures, knowing they'll never know about it. Here is just a handful of the types of people we love to stalk on Facebook...
1) The girl who pours her heart out through daily statuses.
Does this girl ever run out of feelings? "Feeling lonely", "feeling angry", "feeling emotional"... The list is endless. You'd think she'd stop posting such personal things to people that couldn't give two shits about her, yet she continues to do so. Oh well, more scrolling for us.
2) The girls you used to hate in school but are still intrigued by.
Ugh, just the thought of these people make your skin crawl and your shoulders shudder. But... they lead quite exciting lives and always seem to socialise with the good looking people, so why not have a gawk at their profile while you're at it?
3) The emo kid who always posts questions from ask.fm.
You may have no idea who this person is, but there's something oddly fascinating about people who actually use ask.fm on a regular basis. Also, you want to do some genuine research to see the effects of using one of those accounts. That's a legit excuse, right?...
4) The ex you still want back.
Why, oh why are you still friends with them? The temptation to creep as far back in their pictures as you can go is too much to be dealing with. Plus, you have to see all the great times they've been having since they fucked off. Really should unfriend and block, but...
5) The ex's new bae.
*projectile vomits on computer screen*
6) The really opinionated one.
We all know this type. The person with the long statuses that encourage you to click "see more" and you can't resist because you're weak to drama and debate. Besides, how can you properly enjoy the hundreds of comments underneath if you haven't even taken the time to read the whole thing? How rude.
7) The gym freak with all the half-naked selfies.
Possibly your biggest guilty pleasure on Facebook. Nothing beats some nicely toned abs on a Monday evening. Who cares about the motivational speech above? Just looks at that flexing...
8) The new person at work.
How else are you supposed to suss them out? If you're going to be spending your weekends with them, surely it's only right that you check out their social life as well. But you NEVER add them. No, they're the newbie; they have to ask to be MY friend.
9) The guy from primary school that's gotten really hot all of a sudden.
Where the fuck did you come out of?! What happened to the kid that was always picked last for the football teams at lunch? You have improved beyond belief, babe. What's your number again?
10) The girl who's had a baby.
Woah, she was so pregnant a few months ago and now look at her. That thing actually came out of her. I wonder what she named it. Oh look, some pictures of it... Oh, it's a he. He's pretty cute to be fair.
11) The loved-up couple who are always in each other's profile pictures.
I WANT TO HATE YOU, BUT YOU'RE SUCH A GOD DAMN PERFECT COUPLE UGH YOUR EXISTENCE RUINS MY LIFE.