19 Pain-In-The-Ass Facts About Sleep
Sick of early mornings? Tired of heading in for 9' o clock lectures? Wish studying for exams would just go suck a dick? We can relate. Sleep is the best way to be. Always. Even as I'm typing this article, I wish that I was wrapped up in a warm burrito of duvet, listening to the wind howl outside. The annoying thing is, sleep actually hates you. Your relationship with sleep is rockier than your relationship with your ex. And like your ex, it's going to leave you! Here are some pain-in-the-ass facts about sleep;
1) The Higher You Are, The Harder It Is To Sleep
This applies to getting high as well as being high. If you're staying at a ski lodge on Mount Everest (because that's likely to happen, sure), then you're going to be tossing and turning all night. This is because of depleted oxygen levels when you reach 13,200 feet or higher.
2) The Ex Metaphor Is Totally Apt
People who have been dumped, are separated or divorced have reported higher cases of insomnia. So yeah, as if you didn't have enough problems when your girlfriend has left you, you're going to be awake all night too. Might as well 'comfort' yourself then, right?
3) Exercising Makes It Harder To Fall Asleep
People who exercise right before falling asleep, tend to stay awake much longer. As if you needed an excuse to not do exercise.
4) Not Exercising Makes It Harder To Fall Asleep
By the same token, people who exercise regularly, instead of just before going to bed, tend to sleep a lot better than those who don't exercise at all. So it's basically a lose-lose situation all around then.
5) Babies Can't Control Their Sleep
You know how babies seem to cry all the time? And you get no sleep at all when they're around? They actually sleep between 10 to 18 hours a day. But because they're not programmed to sleep all night, they just sleep whenever they're tired. For about twenty minutes at a time. Meaning: fuck your sleeping pattern. (Parents can lose up to 700 hours of sleep in the first year alone.)
6) Grown-Ups Are The Only Ones Who Can
We're the only mammals on the planet who actually try to delay sleep. When we're in a bar, on a bus or in the middle of the conversation, we don't just pass out when we're tired. Which is a shame, because when animals do that, it's adorable.
7) 8 Hours Is Average
Some people can function on as little as six hours of sleep a night. Any less, and you are not performing at your pique. Others need as much as 10 hours to function at all! So those nights where you get 3 hours sleep a night? Yeah... don't operate heavy machinery or deal with the opposite sex on those days.
8) We're Pre-programmed To Feel Tired
2: 00 PM is a time of the day that we naturally feel tired. This isn't directly related to having lunch that day: it's due to to the fact that we generally have lunch around 12-1, and we are programmed to have a drowsy slump to recover immediately afterwards.
9) We Don't Know If Animals Dream
We've seen hundreds of videos of animals running in their sleep and we assume they're dreaming. And while this is a reasonable assumption, we can't actually prove it. They might just be really weird sleepers.
10) Teens Are Naturally Lazy
The Internal Clock of teenagers makes them naturally want to stay up late and get up late in the morning. This fixes itself when we grow older, but during all those drowsy mornings in school, your body was quite naturally screaming for sleep.
11) You Can Be Asleep And Not Know About It
It's actually possible to have a quick cat-nap with your eyes open and not even be aware that it's happening. This happens a lot when you're bored, in a waiting room, or writing a college assignment. The only way you can actually tell, for definite, if someone is nearby with close medical supervision.
12) Your Knees Are A Reset Button
Scientists have been completely unable to explain a 1998 study in which shining a bright light on the backs of human knees can reset the brain's awake/asleep clock. Worth noting the next time you're jet-lagged.
13) Alcohol Helps Sleep AND Messes It Up
Some people say they drinking helps them sleep, while others can't sleep at all when they're drunk. This basically depends on whether or not you're normally a light sleeper. Alcohol does make you fall asleep, but not a deep sleep in which you dream. So if you're easily awoken, you're in for a bad night of slow, oncoming hangover.
14) Lack Of Sleep Gets You Drunk
If you go 5 nights with partial sleep deprivation, then the effect alcohol has on your body is doubled. Great if you want a cheap night out. Bit shitty if you're just going for a quiet drink after lectures.
15) Sleeping With Deaf People Can Hurt
Talking in your sleep is relatively normal. Deaf people do it too. With sign language. Which, if they're dreaming about an argument, can involve a couple of slaps in the face.
16) Japan Knows What's Up
It's considered acceptable to sleep on the job in Japan, because this is a sign of hard work. This practice is called Inemuri. Why isn't this implemented everywhere?
17) Dreams = TV
We see dreams very similarly to TV shows. 12% of people in the world dream in Black and White. Before colour television, this number was 75%.
18) You're No More Popular In Dreams Than You Are Awake
Studies have shown that you can only dream about faces you've seen already in our dreams. We cannot create new ones. Having said that, we can still dream of celebrities, right?
19) Sleep Makes Us Boring
If you're sleep deprived, you tend to make risky decisions. This is due to a higher sensitivity to positive rewards and lower sensitivity to negative consequences.
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