7 Struggles Of Being The Only Non-Single Girl
Single girls get all the sympathy. They're the ones we should whisper the Valentines word around, the ones we should give up our Saturday nights for in order to get them some well need action. When you yourself are single and surrounded by fellow single women, it's great. Every day is like living your own little Sex And The City and you'll always understand one another. What if though, you're the only non-single girl in the group? Here are 7 struggles every non-single girl experiences;
1) Being Abandoned On A Night Out Is A Regular Occurrence
Look, I get it. I get that you all have needs that need to be fulfilled and that when not tended to regularly, your lady parts may start to resemble an abandoned desert cave but why, why do you bother to invite me out, force me to come out, put me through hours of physical prep and then piss off and leave me alone at the bar? What is even the point? And the award for the world's best wing-woman goes to....
2) As Is Having To Make Small Talk With Men You Have No Intention Of Getting With
It's been twenty minutes since they all spread both their wings and legs and decided to flutter to various corners of the club. You've been standing around awkwardly in the sad realisation that you are neither drunk enough or single and so you begin your long trek around the club, hoping desperately that you find someone you know. This is fairly unlikely. In fact, you'll probably just spend your evening small talking with men so drunk you're not quite sure where it is they're looking...
3) Not Being Allowed To Mention The 'B' Word
Yet, you have to sit through hours of man bitching, intricate descriptions of awkward first dates and general shit talk about every single non-relationship going. Nobody, on the other hand, ever asks how your relationship is and the mere mention of the word 'boyfriend' is quickly shut down. Fair? Not in the slightest.
4) And Being Ridiculed Whenever You Choose Him Over Them
You should never, ever ditch your friends for your boyfriend, everybody knows that. Finding the perfect balance between your friendships and your relationship is a tricky thing to do, but get it right and it'll be plain sailing. Is it fair so, when, for the first time in a fortnight, you tell the girls you have a date night and their shit hits the fan? How many times have you spent 'girl dates' listening to them blabbering on and on about how often that guy texts back? It seems as though jealousy is at play here. Or perhaps you've just become consumed with bitterness.
5) Having To Wait Four Hours For Them To Get Ready
There's no night better than a girls night out. Getting ready together, pre-drinking and dancing the night away. Single girls getting ready for a night out though is more of a military operation. Every single measure must be taken to ensure that you're as silky smooth, glowing bronze and fluttery eyelash-ed as is humanly possible. What if we just want to slap on our make up and go? It's not as though anybody's going to be looking at us anyway...
6) Being Constantly Told That You 'Wouldn't Understand' Their Struggles
I haven't been fucking married for the past thirty years people. I've been with someone for two years, of course I understand. I spent about twenty years of my life single (although, to be fair, I only cared about that for six of them). I understand that being single is tough, I really do, but I assure you, being in a relationship is really damn tough too and if you'd like to be a little less uncaring about that, then that'd be great.
7) The Fear Of Getting Pregnant Is Ever Present To You
Girls enjoy nothing more than sitting around discussing what they'd do if they ever got pregnant, which, when you're single, is great because the chances of it actually happening are similar to those of the Virgin Mary when God is on holiday. When you're in a relationship and engaging in regular sex though, the possibilities are far higher, meaning those conversations are far more worrying. Please stop talking single friends, you're making me very worried right about now...