9 Infuriating Facebook Posts You Always See

Everybody uses Facebook. So everybody is aware that the world is populated largely by cretinous morons. Unfortunately, there is no way of filtering them all out so we are frequently subjected to their inane bullshit and aggravating nonsense. Here are 9 infuriating posts that you always see on Facebook.

1. The "Some People"

This one really pisses me off.

"God sum people just really do piss ya off sometimes - feeling angry"

Why bother with this? Seriously? The world is full of enough pointless things without you adding to it with that shit. Firstly, nobody cares. The people saying "You ok hun? xxx" or "Msg me babz" are just feeding into the whole car crash of social media you've created.

If you're sniping at somebody in particular, don't broadcast it for everyone to see, because 90% of people don't know what you're talking about and 100% of them don't give a flying fuck!

2. The Check-In

The check-in post can be acceptable at times. But if you're doing it purely to gloat then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

"Ooooh sooo excited!!!!1 Bye bye Ireland! - at Terminal 2"

"few drinkies now with the girlies. seriously needed after that week! - at Cheeky's Cocktail Bar "

Throw in a picture of your drink and you are officially wasting the Earth's resources with each breath you take.

3. The Friend Cull

Sometimes in life people believe they have matured. They believe this because they no longer desire the technological company of their 1,647 Facebook friends, 80 of whom they actually know.

"If you're seeing this you survived the friend cull I just did, 986 down to 650! Congratulations!"

Wow, I feel so privileged. Thank you so fucking much. I feel so much better about my life now that you have decided to continue blessing me with the flow of your bullshit statuses. Die.

4. The Baby Poster

Oh you had a baby? Oh you bought it clothes? Oh you're excited to watch Disney films with it?

You can be sure that if you drop a mini-human I'll be blocking your maternal ass. It's nothing personal, but I really don't want to see a million pictures of your new born baby. It looks like most other babies, its tiny fingers are freakish and its pinkish skin is somewhat unnerving. It should continue to exist even if Facebook can't validate it.

5. The Spoiler

I don't think I'll ever understand why people watch a film or TV show and then immediately afterwards decide to post important information about it on Facebook. Have you no manners at all? Did Jesus not tell you not to do unto others anything you wouldn't want done unto yourself. Well, he was referring to Breaking Bad almost exclusively and now he's fucking pissed. Nice job dickhead, he was two episodes behind.

6. The Competition Entry

Look, I get it. We all like free stuff. It's even better when the prize is absolutely amazing. But when you clog up my Facebook feed trying to win tickets to a Wheatus gig or a free dinner in some shitty restaurant, you'll be automatically entered into my 'free punch/kick to the facial area' competition. Your chances of winning are healthy.

7. The Session Seeker

Posting about the fact that you will be enjoying an alcoholic drink at a certain time in a certain place, in the hope people join you, is annoying. There, I said it. Advertising it like it's some sort of privilege is even worse and just makes you look like an arrogant prick.

"I'll be in Murphy's at 7 o' clock for a few sociables if anyone would like to join me!"

You're not Kelis and your milkshakes ain't bringing shit to the yard.

8. The Gloat

Fairly common but no less annoying. These are the people that post their amazing exam results or the fact that life is just going so amazingly well.

"Wooo I love when things go right! #winningatlife"

"Soooooo happy I got the results I was after! - feeling determined!"

These people may think they're winning at life but the fact that they have to find validation online shows they are quite possibly responsible for the downfall of society.

9. The Inspirational Quote

There's nothing wrong with a good old quote to supplement your life on social media. But when these quotes come in the form of cheesy inspirational gibberish it's seriously annoying.

"You can ask the universe for all the signs you want, but ultimately, we see what we want to see when we're ready to see it."

O.K so, firstly, after that status I can confirm you are indeed an idiot. Secondly, your continued participation in social media is lowering the collective will to live of people all over the world.