Blood, Sweat And All-Nighters: How To Survive The Exam Season
December is finally upon us, ladies and gentlemen. That means one thing and one thing only: it's exam time. There's nothing like it. The blood, the sweat, wanting to drop out and work in a deli for the rest of your life. It's never easy or pleasant, but it's something we all have to go through. You will get through it, I promise. Here's how:
1) Get Completely And Utterly Pissed Out Of Your Head Before They Begin
This does a number of things. Firstly, you're getting it out of your system. It's like having a three-week blowout in Ibiza before you get pregnant. This is the last time you'll be able to enjoy the sweet, soothing release of alcohol for a few weeks, so make the most of it. When you're sitting in the library surrounded by panicked people and musty books, resisting the urge to throw yourself down the escalator, at least you'll have the memories.
2) Sleep A Lot
Yes, all-nighters might seem like the key to success, but they are a cruel and evil force not to be reckoned with. All-nighters make you feel sick, shaky, hot, cold, emotional, depressed... just shit really. If you're getting lots of decent sleep, you'll feel much better. Think less cranky, more productive. Go to bed early, get up early. It'll make you far less angry, confused and emotional. At least, that's what my housemates told me to do.
3) Get Some Exercise In
This may not seem like a priority at this moment in time. Why waste your time running around looking like a sweaty beetroot when you could be revising? Well, because exercise will have you feeling better, more motivated, more focused and oh yeah, you'll look shit hot too. If running isn't your thing, why not hop between the sheets and get some sexercise? De-stressing and fun, what more could you want?
4) Cut Out The Junk Food
Sure, the easiest option may be to grab the fastest and easiest crap you can get your hands on, to push you through those final few hours of painful cramming. Sugar, caffeine, noodles, toast - yes, I too have survived for too many months on processed sugar, but I've discovered it's of no use to your body whatsoever. Fuelling yourself with decent, healthy, nutritious food will make you feel, look and perform much better when you need it most. Think of yourself as an expensive car. You wouldn't fill a car with Dutch Gold now, would you? Take care of yourself.
5) Take A Mental Break
Spending eighteen hours a day with your head in a book may seem like the most productive way of working but it's really, really not. You need to remove yourself from the panicky cramming mindset, or you'll collapse into yourself. Go for a walk, make some lunch, watch an episode of something on Netflix. Note that I said an episode, not an entire fucking series. I know what you're like.
6) Talk It Out
A problem shared is a problem halved, or something to that effect. Don't keep all your emotions bottled up or you'll explode all over someone like Coke and Mentos. It's important to talk to people who are going through something similar to you. If they're living it up, drinking every day of the week, clubbing their brains out and generally just making you feel worse, hang up on them and forget it. Stick to people who are equally as miserable as you. Believe it or not, it'll make you feel so much better. Solidarity is comforting. Promise.
7) Have A Light At The End Of The Tunnel
Get out the calendar and mark the date you finish exams with a big fat red X. Buy yourself a bottle of whiskey or Smirnoff, or whatever it is that makes you salivate, and display it in the room where you study. Plan a huge house party, set aside money for a shopping trip. Do whatever it takes to have something, anything, to work towards - I promise you, you'll work twice as hard. Unless you completely lack self-control and tuck into your reward a week early. You complete failure.
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