What I Learned From Living With Boys

Apart from pretending to be Penny from the Big Bang Theory or liking to think that New Girl was based on your life. All of a sudden, the 'boy' isn't this alien thing anymore. You are now completely comfortable in walking around in your onesie, eating shit food in front of them and you have realised that it is really unfair that they can get ready for a night out in ten minutes while you prepare two hours in advance... What else did I learn from living with boys? Well it mustn't have been too bad seeing as I'm doing it all over again this year!

1. That 'Guy' Smell

I don't know what it is but every boy house has that 'smell'. It's a mix of lynx, dirty plates and stale sweat. Their pheromones seem to creep into every crevice of your house. Then it hits you. You probably smell like that when you leave the house!

2. Your Shampoos/Conditioner/ Shower Gel will Disappear

You see, girls know that toiletries are expensive but boys on the other hand have no idea. They're used to using their 2 'n' 1 shampoo and shower gel but then all of a sudden they realise how glorious and luxurious showers can be with your coconut shower gel. They're hair has some what improved in bounciness and shine. Yet they swear they never use it even though after they vacate the shower, it smells  like a bottled rainforest has exploded.

3. Your Kitchen Will Be Disgusting

Stale, rotting food everywhere. There will most likely be a leaning tower of dishes. You will be surprised as to how much you mess you can actually handle.

4. Your Entire House Will Be Filthy

Your sitting room will look like an homage to pizza boxes, with take away menus everywhere.

5. Don't Expect any TLC

If you're sick or just in a bad mood, don't expect a foot rub! They will assume you're on your period and therefore stay as far away as possible.

6. They will Take Hideous Snapchats

You are constantly on your guard. Eating food, sitting down at an awkward angles, putting on some spot cream. Everything.

7. You Never Have Control Over the TV

Sex in the City will have be demoted to your laptop screen. There is one of you and 5 of them. You do not get a say.

8. A Boy Going into the Bathroom with his Laptop is a Bad Sign

If you need to pee, you either run in before him or you hold it because that bathroom is about to be destroyed.

9. Beard Trimmings Everywhere

If you live with manly men like myself, sometimes they need to trim their cavemaness.

10. Boys Are Crafty

"Oh, but I have an interview tomorrow and my shirt is all creased."

"Fine I'll iron it, but just this is one time!"

Next thing you know, you've set up your own dry cleaners.

11. Don't Mention 'Lady Things'

Don't leave your tampon box around, or bras or anything that is NOT unisex. Yes they got to talk about their monstrous poo but this ain't no two way street.

12. Guys Can Be Girly Too

We all have our little insecurities and now all of a sudden there is a girl who they aren't having sex with in their presence all the time. They can use you to unlock secret things about girls they never knew before! Button down or shirt open? They may secretly want to watch 'The Fault in Our Stars!"

"Nah like, that's such a chick flick. Ugh go on then sure put it on if ya have ta..."

Wait for the feels.

13. People Assume You're A Lesbian

"So you're not going out with any of them? And you're not a bitch? Do you have girl friends?"

14. You Get Kind of Protective

You get overly happy if one of their girlfriends comes over because then you can show someone your secret tampon stash and talk about girly things.  If one of them brings back a random girl for the night you try and make friends with her too, ask her questions so you don't look like a bitch. You know your housemate is shooting daggers into the back of your head because you've ruined his quick exit to his room. You just want to make sure she's good enough!

15. You Turn into Their Mother

You didn't want this to happen but it has. You're genuinely worried about their well being and their very likely chance of getting scurvy. All of a sudden you're showing them that vegetables aren't that hard to cook. Why aren't you on your way to your exam! They knew what they were doing the minute you walked into that house. Mission accomplished.

16. You're Not One of the Guys

It doesn't matter if you have a special bond with them now or you feel like there is no line between you and them. There is! The same way you like to just meet with your girl friends to talk about them they need to do the same thing. You are not a female wing man!