Starting A New College Year: Expectation V Reality.

Maybe this doesn't apply to everyone... But let's face it, it's most of us!

1. You think you'll go to all your lectures.

You will...for a month. (Minus fresher's week.)

2. You'll do all your work and hand it in on time.

"Sure it was only worth 10%  anyway."

3. You'll be responsible, and only go out twice during Fresher's Week.

...Who needs money for food anyway?

4. You're going to go to bed at a reasonable hour so you can get up for your nine o'clock lecture.

Oh look at that: it's 4am and you're still have another album of photos of your ex's new girlfriend to go through.

5. Especially for first years: now you're away from home, you'll be having loads of sex.

Nope...your dodgy lines and old-school, "will you shift me?" still don't work.

6. You're going to stop procrastinating.

Shouldn't you be doing something constructive or reading a book or something?

7. You'll stay in touch with your friends from home.

"...Wait, who are you again?"

8. This is the year where you're going to work hard, get your 1:1, and find the meaning of life.

Or not. Maybe you'll spend your time reading lists on the internet instead.