Things Not To Say To A Drunk Girl...

Everybody knows that crossing a girl when she's drunk is like dicing with death. Here's our top list of what not to say to a drunk girl.

You're such a lightweight

Great. Thanks. Not a good start. You should be applauding her for being a cheap date.

I think you've had enough

This will only ensure rage from the woman in front of you. A word of advice: Don't tell a woman that what she's doing is wrong.

Shall we get up early tomorrow?

Obviously not.

I hate you

At least if you do hate them, they're unlikely to remember. But still, tone the nastiness down a bit. If you're that angry you should be having another drink yourself.

Please stop embarrassing yourself

If they're embarrassing themselves, the last thing they want is to be told that. It just draws more attention to them. If they are making a fool of themselves, then take them to the side and tell them. It'll be less embarrassing for you both when she starts squealing and whining.

Can we go home now?

Don't be a whiner. If you want to go home you're big enough to go on your own. Especially if we look like we're enjoying ourselves.

I love you

She either won't hear you, or she'll forget. So save it for another time if you really mean it.

You used to be more fun

Again, this'll either end in a fist fight or a drink being thrown over you.

Stop getting so angry

It's only going to make her more angry. You have been warned.

Shall we go and get a coffee?

Any sort of pedantic chat is never going to work. If you think she's in desperate need of some caffeine then go get a coffee for her and be a gent. Or just lure her into a taxi and bring her home safe.