Wikipedia Is Your Best Friend: Your Guide To Pulling An All Nighter In College

We've all been there. You took a class whose only mark was on a final essay or exam. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Now the deadline is approaching. You probably thought that you could work on a little of it once a week so that by the end of the semester all you had to do was tidy up your work and submit it. That probably was your professor’s intention as well. But... now that deadline is in 24 hours and you barely have a title and that doesn't even put a dent in the final word count. What are you going to do you cry? You have flutters in your stomach and your heart is racing. A cold sweat is running down your back. Your roommates, who took the same class but finished the essay a week ago, ask you to go out for a pint but you've a mission to do. No way you're going to let yourself fail. You can do this!

1. Coffee.

Or any caffeine beverage that appeals to you: red bull, energy drinks but we all know coffee is king. No all-nighter is complete without at least five cups and probably a sixth on the way. True you will probably be writing in a jittery caffeine-fueled haze. Not really knowing what is going on, and most likely repeating your point until it makes sense. But all those repetitions bring the word count that much closer.

2. Get Comfy.

You’re going to be sitting down in front of a computer for most of the night, make sure your body is going to be able to handle it. Make sure you’re not too comfy, sleeping in not an option. Do not write under blankets and surrounded by cushions and pillows. Sleep will be irresitible. You'll say to yourself, 'oh, a five minute power nap won't be too bad.' But you'll wake up three hours later and you still won't be halfway through. Resist my friend and make yourself another cup of coffee. All the caffeine will probably make you a bit paranoid so that will stop you from sleeping if you think there's an axe-murderer in your room.

3. Lecture Notes.

If you were smart enough to attend lectures then hopefully you have some semblance of notes which you can take and reword to make it appear like you paid more attention than you probably did. Let’s face it, if you had you might have started your essay a bit sooner. If your professor gave you a reading list - which you never actually used - Google them and read reviews. Some people get very descriptive. Steal their opinion and make it the focus of your essay.

4. Wikipedia.

Yeah we all know that Wikipedia is an unreliable source and a lot of the stuff on there is crap written by people who have more time on their hands than you do. But, if you haven’t started writing your essay yet then you probably haven’t done any of the recommended reading either. Handy little tip I learned from a College Tutor was to scroll down the wiki page to the sources. Usually quite detailed sources with links that you can use and find specific passages from relevant texts and make it appear to your professor that not only did you read up on the subject, you read outside of their reading lists, making you appear to be more enthusiastic than you probably are.

5. Talk It Out.

Hopefully you have friends who are also taking this course module and they have been working more steadily than you. Call them up or Facebook them. Basically hitting them up for their own opinions. It’s not stealing or cheating its...sharing. Listen to their opinions, if you agree, re-word it as your own and if you disagree explain why and use your response in your essay. Disagreeing and backing that up impresses professors – everyone loves a rebel.

6. Snacks.

Have a ready supply of snacks nearby, no one has time to make food at three in the morning. It’s hard enough to boil the kettle for coffee with housemates sleeping in the next room. No one likes an angry housemate. But its also difficult to pry yourself away from the warm nest of notes and blankets you've created for yourself in your room. Stock up before your writing session begins. If you want to pretend to be healthy substitute crisps for nuts, not salted and not covered in chocolate.

7. Do not trust Spell-Check.

That bitch lies. Also it can’t tell whether you meant to write ‘form’ or ‘from’ but your professor will. Re-read your work, aloud. If it makes sense then you're golden. Caffeine should help. By about cup five you will be sufficiently twitchy and sharp to notice a misplaced comma and any misspelling that Spell-Check missed.

8. Take Breaks.

You’re not a robot. Some people say that you should turn off the internet when you’re planning an all-nighter. Those people are nuts. If you can turn your internet off, it’s quite easy to just turn it back on again. That’s like putting a recovering alcoholic in a room filled with wine bottles and a bottle opener and leaving them alone with it. Sometimes the temptation will be too much. Break the monotony with a YouTube video, or checking Facebook or Twitter for updates. Just make sure not to spend hours SnapChatting your bestie or stalking that guy in your class who seems all mysterious and brooding.

9. Submit.

You've done it. Sunlight is streaming in your windows and your back is acting and you desperately need to pee because you drank so uch friggin' coffee. But you did it. Word count up and bibliography done. Congrats. You;re a champion. Hopefully all you'll need to do now is email it to your professor or submit it online. If you have to leave the house do so cautiously. You will be in  a sleepy haze and may try to put hats on your feet instead of instead of socks. Once its submitted you can do what you like. Take a day off, sleep, binge on Netflix or go for pints. You did it. You;re a hero. You definitely have this college thing down.