Look within yourself, into your very core, and know that you are missing something. Know that something eludes you; that some void lives within you that is preventing you from feeling whole - from feeling complete. Your very bones vibrate to the frenetic energy of longing that thrums within you, that pines for that final missing piece of yourself.
Well, I am here, here to tell you what it is that's missing. The deep yearning that screams from the chasm within you is calling out for you to be shipped to one of the Belearic Islands; have all the hair on your body purged from the neck down and, to try engage in some awkward heavy petting with a stranger in a halogen-lit dormitory. That is what is missing. This is what you seek. You seek to be on Love Island.
All of that is to say that the production team for Love Island have already opened up the application process for next year's show. With Monday's final still warm in our minds and Dr Alex's skin still puce and iridescent from the battering it received under the harsh glare of the Mediterranean sun, it seems rather churlish and premature to be looking so far forward as next year. Yet we must. Time's transience never allows us to truly savour the moment. While, right now, right here, as you read this, it may seem hard to imagine any group other than Jack, Georgia Dani et al. inhabiting the island, growing increasingly bronzed within its confines, there will inevitably come a time when a new batch of people - of whom a disproportionately high number will earn their living as personal trainers - replace them, both in the island, and, in our hearts.
If you, or if you know someone who you think is suitably shameless to, want to apply for next year's iteration of Love Island then they simply need to:
- Be over 18 by the closing date of 30 April 2019.
- You must hold a passport valid until at least 31 August 2019 and any other travel documentation that may be necessary for you to travel and stay within the European Union during this time.
- You must be exclusively available to participate in the programme for a minimum of eight weeks from May 2019.
- You cannot currently be, or previously have been, employed by ITV or any of the companies within its umbrella group, nor be the live-in partner of, or an immediate relative of an ITV employee.
If you meet these criteria and pine to bask under the harsh glare of both the Mediterranean sun and the viewing public, while potentially trying to maintain an awkward conversation by a pool with a junior doctor about the merits of Italian sports cars, then apply here.