Offaly Will Be One Of The Hottest Places In Europe This Week

Offaly Will Be One Of The Hottest Places In Europe This Week

The Offaly tourist board are presumably in crisis. Rip up the brochures, tear down the posters, all their previous promotional literature based on visiting Clonmacnoise and other quaint sites are now redundant. The current heatwave means that Offaly is set to be hotter than the majority of Europe this week, as such Offaly is going to - at least in the short-term - rebrand itself as some kind of tropical sun-addled haunt.

What with the current heat-wave, temperatures are set to reach the high twenties during the latter parts of the week and it could conceivably exceed 30 degrees in parts of the county.

To put this in perspective, that is too warm. I am not sure what Offaly is made of - I am no geologist - but I imagine with temperatures hovering at those levels, we should not discount the possibility that Offaly will melt. It would be churlish of us to expect an Irish county to be able to withstand temperatures exceeding 30 degrees and we must thus brace ourselves for the idea that we will soon be one county down, with what we once knew as Offaly being reduced to a hot molten puddle.

Across Europe, you'd be hard pressed to find anywhere toastier than this. Select parts of France and Spain are currently hovering in the high twenties and low thirties. Offaly is getting ready to blow these pitious rivals out of the water. Offaly will soon be the very centre of hell itself.

People of Offaly, prepare yourselves. Prepare yourselves for furious heat - though if you deal poorly with the heat you could always head to Laois.


H/T: Offaly Express

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Garret Farrell

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