16 Products That Prove M&S Are The Height Of Notions

This isn't just notions, this is Marks & Spencer notions. In fact, their entire business plan is probably built on notions. We went down to our local M&S to prove how notional they really are:

1. Chocolate Fruit & Nut Salami

€7.50 for this abomination. SEVEN FIFTY!

2. Belgian Chocolate Coated Marzipan Balls

Not a snack you'd be buying for the cinema. And of course, it has to be Belgian chocolate.

3. Murcia Lemon Bucks Fizz

Bucks Fizz is the poor man's Prosecco, but we like it that way.

4. Prawn & Crab Macaroni Cheese

Butchered a classic here.

5. Amaretto Biscotti Yoghurt

Way too fancy for a yoghurt.

6. Cornish Cloudy Farmhouse Cider with Sicilian Lemon

Just put a feckin' slice of lemon in your pint instead.

7. Raviolini Italian Ricotta, Porcini & Truffle

What's wrong with a bowl of spaghetti bolognese?

8. Quark

Doesn't even sound real.

9. Pork & Bramley Apple Sausage Rolls

An abomination.

10. Lamb Kofta & Yogurt Handcooked Crisps

What is even going here?

11. Sicilian Lemon & Chili Coated Peanuts & Cashews

What is the big feckin' deal with lemons from Sicily?

12. Billionaire Bullion Bar

I'll admit, I have had one of these and they are bleeding deadly. But €6.40 is ridiculous.

13. Prawn, Coconut & Chilli Lollipops

Who exactly is buying these for their lunch?

14. Chocolate & Stem Ginger Ice Creams

Why does this insufferable store find it so hard to keep it simple? This sounds rotten.

15. Watermelon & Lime Fresca

Sounds like an all-round bad combination.

16. Lemon & Bilberry Posset

What on earth is a 'posset'? Notions, that's what.

See Also: The 8 Worst Gobshites You'll Find In The Cinema

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