Getting The Shift On New Year's Eve: A Tactical Masterclass
Ahh the familiar dread that accompanies going out on New Year's Eve. The crowds, the waiting, the copious amounts of alcohol. And on top of all that, you have to worry about getting your midnight shift, lest you start 2018 on a bum note.
New Year's Eve can be something of a free for all, so it's good to go into the night with a clear stratagem of how to make sure that come 12 o'clock you're not stood in the middle of the dance floor twiddling your thumbs while all and sundry are wearing the faces off one another.
So with that in mind, here is the College Times guide for getting the shift on New Year's Eve.
1. Identify your victim early in play
No use in picking a target five minutes before the countdown. You gotta get friendly early doors, and lay the groundwork
2. Make sure there's a good ratio
If you are leaving your midnight shift to the last minute then at the very least make sure there is a good ratio wherever you are. The 30 seconds before the countdown will be very important, and if you have to spend them pushing the competition out of the way then you may end up with no one come 2018.
3. Make sure you're keeping an eye on the clock
It's very easy to get caught up in the festivities when out on the town. Between ordering drinks, nipping out to the smoking area, dancing and catching up with old friends, the night can get away from you. That's why you need to make sure you have a good grasp on what time of the night it is, to give you the optimum chance of securing that vital midnight score.
4. Isolate your target
Once you have your preference locked down then it's time to get them away from the crowd. Tell them you want to go for a smoke or a bag of chips. Once it's just the two of you they'll probably feel obliged to lob the gob once the clock strikes 12.
5. Make sure your lips aren't chapped
Shifting 101 here.
6. Find some mistletoe and guard it with your life
For the traditionalists, mistletoe can be a great asset when searching for the midnight shift. Be forewarned however, you may be leaving yourself open to potentially awkward encounters with some less than savoury shifts.
7. Purposely engage in a DMC two minutes before 12
Rope your target into a deep meaningful convo right before the countdown. It's best if you know a subject they are passionate about.
8. Forget your dignity
If the worst comes to worst and your preferred shift has disappeared or gone off with someone else, do not fret. Simply walk up to strangers and ask them will they shift you. Someone is bound to be as desperate as you are.
9. When all else fails, go home and kiss your dog
There's a reason they're called man's best friend you know.