10 Thoughts Every Guy Has During Drunk Sex

It's been a good night and by good, we mean drunk.  You've got a pretty good idea of where this night is headed, and your woman is seemingly very up for it too. Time to go home and get down to it. Here are 10 thoughts guys have during drunk sex.;

1) "I have no fucking idea how I'm going to get this bra off."

They can be a maze of complications. If you messing around for too long she's going to start thinking you're incompetent, but if you don't open it then you won't get to see her boobs. Better keep trying so.

2) "I hope I don't throw up. Please don't throw up."

If you're feeling queasy, try and pick a spot where you can easily manoeuvre yourself to a bathroom. No one wants to be on the receiving end of that and you're pretty much ensured to go down in history if you vomit on her during sex. Don't do it.

3) "Can we stop so I can pee?"

Good luck keeping it up after this, you're going to need it.

4) "You'd better stay up little man."

Depending on how drunk you are, this will decipher how long you're gonna keep going. Prayer, extreme horniness and your exact level of drunk will all be factors in this too though.

5) "I'm not sure if I'm sweating out the alcohol or if I'm going to die."

If you're on top, make sure those beads of sweat manage to stay on your head and onto the woman below. She won't appreciate it in the slightest, I assure you. Nobody likes their own sweat, never mind yours.

6) "I'm really enjoying this and all but that pillow is looking very appealing."

The quicker it's over, the quicker you get to sleep. Just think of that and power on through.

7) "Can I pee again?"

Well, it's better out than in, or so I've heard.

8) "I wonder if she's enjoying this."

If you have to ask yourself this question, then there's a high chance that she isn't. Sorry.

9) "I really feel as though I may vomit."

Keep calm, keep calm. All shall be ok. Deep breaths, breathe in, out, in, out. You're nearly there.

10) "OK time to go to pass out now. Yay!"

You probably have less dignity than you did 20 minutes ago, but you got the job done and you're still just about in one piece. Go you!