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13 Things Guys Will Never Understand About Girls

The female mind boggles men. The rationale that goes on in there is simply beyond us, and we've talked before about how guys and gals will never be able to truly see eye to eye. Here are just 13 examples of the things guys will never understand about girls. (And even if women tried to explain the thought processes behind these things, guys will just never be able to accept them. Sorry.)

1) The Shoe Fetish

It's like magpies with shiny things. Yeah, shoes can be quite nice, but they'll never be that interesting. Will they?

2) Asking Questions When You Know You Won't Like The Answers

"Oh c'mon tell me, who's your ideal woman? Megan Fox?! What the fuck is wrong with you? She has disgusting thumbs." *storms off*

3) Wearing Things That Cause Physical Pain

If someone whips himself in the name of their religion, we call them a fanatical freak. If a girl cripples her feet with shoes designed to absurd anatomical proportions, we call it a special occasion.

4) The Amount Of Preparation You Do

Yes, we're aware your routine is a lot more elaborate than ours, we just don't understand why. It stopped being for male benefit many years ago, now it's just some sort of appearance race against other girls.

5) The Crying

We've heard all about that famous female pain threshold, but watch Finding Nemo without balling and we'll be impressed. Pull yourselves together women.

6) You Eat Our Chips

Just get your own dammit, we both know you're going to eat them anyway. This pretense fools no one!

7) Periods

What's that all about, anyway? Actually, scratch that. We really don't want to know.

8) Two-faced ness

If only your best friends knew some of the things you had to say about them. Best friends you say? REALLY?

9) Going For Assholes

This complaint gets thrown around a lot for sure, but it's still so true. Don't chase the biggest wanker in the town and then come crying to me when he inevitably cheats on you.

10) Saying The Opposite Of What You Mean

Why must we do this dance? Just... why? And if you don't mind what we do then why do you look as though you want to stab me for picking that thing?

11) Duckface

It's universally mocked, there's a whole series of memes about it, but it still hasn't gone away. And POUT.

12) Inability To Take Compliments

If I don't say you look good, I get the 'fine' treatment but when I acknowledge it I get told to shut up. Wait..what?

13) Backhanded compliments

This one is just fucked. It's just so bitchy, if you have a problem with someone just straight-up tell them. This clip from Family Guy summed it up perfectly...


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His friends call him Joe, you can call him Mr. Flanagan. A keen taxidermist and prolific writer of erotic Fair City fan-fiction, Joey's accomplishments include completing the Camino de Santiago, getting Ray D'Arcy's autograph over 200 times, and knocking a pig unconscious with one square punch to its jaw.