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5 Surefire Signs That You're a Commitment-Phobe

It's not to say that you're terrified of commitment but if he were a kid in the playground, you would steer clear of him because he shoves your head in the toilet and just generally ruins your day. You hate commitment and commitment hates you, but you share this weird relationship in which you two keep being pushed together by chance. If you're unsure whether or not this describes you, here's a list of 5 signs that you my friend are a commitment-phobe.

1) You're Constantly Making Excuses

When it comes to the topic of dating (or any commitment for that matter) you always come up with an excuse for why it can't happen, and the worst thing is they're not even clever or valid. Saying you don't want a girlfriend because it's summer is not a legit reason for not wanting to date someone. But despite this fact, we all know you're going to use it anyway. In reality there's no actual reason for your indecisiveness, you're just indecisive, and we love you for it.

2) You Convince Yourself You Don't Like The Person

As the shroud of commitment slowly approaches and you find yourself panicking, you try to think of a way out of your situation. Eventually your brain starts telling you that you don't like this person; this same person you thought was awesome a day ago. You now desperately try and convince yourself you're not that into them. You start pointing out minor flaws and imperfections that didn't bother you before, in your pathetic attempt to untangle yourself from the situation. Smooth move douchebag.

3) You Avoid The Dreaded DTR

Defining the relationship is the last thing you want. Putting a label on something makes it official, making it official makes it serious, and you hate serious. You prefer to keep things light and easy going, rather than referring to each other as boyfriend or girlfriend, because that would be gross. Deep feelings are on the bottom of your to do list; for the time being you kinda just want to have fun. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR THEM TO UNDERSTAND, GAWD.

4) Your Longest Relationship Lasted Not So Long

If your longest relationship is, well pretty short, then you're probably a commitment-phobe. You're 19 now, if you only date people for weeks at a time, then there's obviously something going wrong. And that something is most likely you being a massive, terrified of feelings pussy.

5) You Subconsciously Self- Sabotage

The universal trademark of every serial commitment-phobe is that of the self sabotage. And what's most annoying about this EXTREMELY annoying trait is that you don't even realise you're doing it. You've found someone you really like and have managed thus far to avoid your other commitment issues. You're ready to be in this thing for the long haul. But it falls apart, and looking back on it you're not too sure why, but you're left with this strange feeling that it was your fault. It was. It's a hard one to explain because you don't know exactly how you do it, but you subconsciously push this person away because you're too immature to deal with an adult relationship. But you'll get there, someday. All I can advise you to do is keep on trying till you've worked past (or managed to suppress) all your issues.


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Dafe once went streaking in the middle of the day for the promise of a 4in1. He is in possession of a spectacular ass, and considers himself quite the suave "Motha-Fucka". He studies English and Law in Maynooth University, but rarely attends classes because he is; and I quote - "Too busy mackin them bishes". His love for appletini's is only outweighed by his love for appletini's. Be warned if you ever encounter Dafe in the real world, he will probably turn you to the darkside *whispers* black people...