8 Simple Steps To Help You Escape From The Friend Zone

Do you guys hang out on friend-dates all the time? Have deep, meaningful conversations? Text each other constantly? And just when you feel it's getting intense, she starts telling you about this new guy she's seeing. And you'd totally like him, because he's just like you! You know who else is just like you? YOU! I sympathize, I've been there. Hell, we've all been there, where we just fall for this incredible girl, put in so much groundwork and suddenly find ourselves stuck with a bestie. Need an escape plan? We've got the tools you'll need right here....

1. Get Really Fucking Busy

Get busy at what? At being more desirable? At convincing her you're The One? At doing squat thrusts? No, no, just get busy doing anything! If a girl knows you spend all your time just sitting around playing video-games, that you're always free for her, she's not going to feel any sense of The Chase. She knows she can have you easily, so she doesn't care enough to even try. So take up a hobby. Get really into college work. Hang out with the lads on a regular, constant basis. If your time becomes a precious commodity, she'll appreciate hanging out with you so much more (even if she doesn't seem to at first).

2. Gradually Hang Out With Them Less

When you're heading out for a few drinks or want to go to the cinema, do you immediately ring her up? If so, you need to cut that shit out. Restrict it to once a week to start off, with then gradually space your meet-ups further and further apart. After a week or two, just stop messaging her altogether. Wait for her to ask you, and make sure you're busy most of the time she suggests. It's only when she's getting clearly desperate to hang out do you crack and say "OK, I'll try and make that date."

3. Have Sex With Other People

Finding out that she's started seeing someone else can be an emotionally heavy kick in the balls. It takes all the wind out of your sails. You might think that if you're seeing someone else, or have slept with someone else it's like burning a bridge between the two of you. It's like having "I'm not into you" carved into stone. It's not true! If she likes you at all, saying you slept with someone else will drive her crazy. And if she's not into you, seeing someone else will make you seem more interesting. You can tell her about this girl, about romantic gestures you've made (and she wishes someone would make for her) and, eventually, how you're just not feeling it with her. It gives you an air of romantic mystique that, if nothing else, makes you seem like a lot less of a loser. And if you can't get with anyone else...

4. Pretend You're Having Sex With Other People

It's dishonest, sure, but everyone does it. Don't let your crush think that you just sit at home watching TV every Saturday night. Make it sound like you're in high demand. Even if you feel you're not all that good-looking, it makes it sound like you're at least incredible in bed. Don't make a point of bringing it up at every opportunity though. Be subtle. If she asks what you were up to over the weekend, just say you went out and had "much more fun than I thought I would". Add a knowing smile, as though remembering something and her imagination will do the rest. If you're hanging out with her less and are busy doing other things, this should be easy to pull off.

5. Take Longer To Text Back

Don't text back eagerly within a minute of her texting you. It makes it seem like you're dropping everything just to talk to her, which isn't sexy. As a general rule of thumb, wait 5-10 minutes before texting back. Occasionally just 'forget' to text back. (Watch an episode or two on Netflix before saying "sorry about that, yeah...). And for Christ sake, know when to end the conversation. Make a conscious effort to not be the last one to send a message.

6. Get A Whole New Look

If you're trapped in the friend zone based purely on your looks, then now would be a good time to experiment. It doesn't take a drastic amount of work to make yourself look like hot stuff. A sharp suit does wonders, a new haircut can transform you completely. Check out our article on How To Optimize Your Physical Appearance to see how you can turn the old you into a genuinely desirable human being.

7. Be As Much Of A Lad As Possible

While it makes sense in your head to not be like one of those lads she's always complaining about, to be a friend to her who listens, you're sort of ruining your chances there. That shit comes after you've hooked up. For now, go on nights out with the lads, play football, laugh at stupid jokes about farting and being a general lad! This is a part of your life she has no access to so she can't know what you're like here. It's probably completely different to how you've been treating you before, so it makes her believe that there's more you to you than meets the eye. Just don't go overboard and start making sexist jokes at her when the lads are around. And don't eat Baby Back Ribs in front of her. Just send her a Snapchat before you get stuck in.

8. Tell Her You Like Her

The most important rule of all: after you've given her the above treatment for a couple of weeks, it's time to make your move. Get a feel for things and see if you can make things happen naturally. You should be able to tell because she'll make a lot of comments about missing you over the past few weeks, saying you look really different and overall, just acting very over friendly and making physical contact. If it happens naturally, great. If not, it's time to just bite the bullet and tell her. You should know, if you actually have to come out and say it, there's a good chance she doesn't feel the same way. But there's still a chance! And once you've found out how she feels, it's 200% easier to get over them and start hooking up with randomers. Remember those good old days?

Good luck guys!