What Happens When You Bring A Friend To Get The Morning After Pill

It starts off like any Saturday morning. 'Sarah' rings you. You assume it's for the chats but actually she's in a panic.

A crazy night, back in 'Peters' house..

They did it, totally unprotected and now she's all freaked out. You suggest the Morning After Pill just to be sure. She says no, besides she needs to save the cash. She is in Stage 1:

1) Denial

'I'm sure it's grand' she says. You gently push the M.A.P idea a little further and offer to go with her.

2) Anxiety

'Maybe I'm not OK' she texts.

'Whatever you think it best' you text back.

3) Anger

Now she's all pissed off with you. 'I asked you for advice' she shrieks (in text form)

You don't know how to respond. 'Why don't we just go and get it over with and I'll buy you a McFlurry afterwards'. Sugar, always offer sugar.

4) Regret

'I just shouldn't have done it' she cries… You feel bad for her, she's losing her shit and getting the fear now. You say nice things like 'He's such a ride in fairness, it's totally understandable'

5) Acceptance

Sarah decides that she needs to take it... Good. This is good.

6) Sadness

'Peter' still hasn't texted and this makes 'Sarah' sad. It is only 11.45 am. You remind her of this.

7) Shame

In the chemist it feels as if everyone is watching... Those eyes are following you as you go to the counter.

8) Stage Fright

The two of you are at the counter. The words just won't come out...

9) Anger

You end up having to buy it because she spent all her money last night. €25 could be being spent on food, or make up or booze. Why isn't he paying for them, the bastard.

10) Acceptance

She takes the pill…

11) Relief

12) Hatred

'Peter' still hasn't called… 'Sarah' gets pissed off but you've done your part in making sure she's not potentially 'with child'. Pat on the back for yourself along with a hefty reminder that condoms are the way forward.