"Men Are Just Shit Though": A Guys Perspective On A Girl's Thoughts...

There have been one or two articles written on CollegeTimes about girls complaining about guys. As in, guys being utterly shit at everything. I've decided to challenge some of the most common complaints, and give my thoughts on whether they are legitimate reasons to get pissed off at a guy, or if it's just female hysteria. So, the most annoying things about a guy are...

1) Guys Saying "Make Me A Sandwich"

Or get back in the kitchen. Bitch. We're all way too clever at this stage to say something like this to a girl and not cringe. So I'm going to take a stand in front of everyone, risking my total Lad reputation and say: this actually isn't cool. If there's a bunch of lads having a few beers and just generally being lads, let them tell their "Get back in the kitchen" stories. That's male bonding for you. But let the record show that when it comes to sandwiches and the kitchen?

Men are shit for that.

2) One Word Answers

"Fine" Or "Yeah". Or "Really". Apparently this drives you girls absolutely fucking mental, because it makes you think that something is wrong, but they won't tell you what it is. Your argument seems to be "If something is wrong, just tell us!" I'm sorry but this is just what guys do and you need to just get used to it. If there's something bothering us, we'll deal with it, OK? We don't need to cry to you about it, because we're men. Or we might just be tired, or not in the mood to talk. The message is, stop talking to us!

Men are not shit for that.

3) Looking At Hot Girls

"Is she hotter than me?! How dare you! Stop looking at people!" You need to accept it, girls. It's perfectly natural for guys to look at hot girls. It's what they do. Granted, if they are literally drooling, slapping you on the shoulder and saying "Whoa, check her out!", then yes, those guys are dicks. But don't punish us for a sly glance. You drool over Ryan Gosling, we're going to appreciate beauty in all it's forms too.

Men are not shit for that!

4) Not Texting Back

For some odd reason, this finds its way onto every list of "Annoying things that guys do". This is a common thing that guys and girls do. And cut us some slack, sometimes we're just stuck on a boss in a game! Having said that, if a guy does this constantly, as in, he literally waits three hours between texts, then YES, that's a crappy thing for guys to do.

Men are shit for that.

5) Selfish In Sex

You know what, some lads go right out of their way to be a dick during sex. They give you almost no foreplay whatsoever, are happy to finish up in 5 minutes and expect a pat on the back/blowjob for their efforts. You girls sometimes try to suggest ways in which they can be better, trying to work with us. But sometimes.....yeah.

Men are shit for that.

6) Assuming The Periods

All right, this is guys trying to take an easy way out. If something is pissing you off and a guys first reaction is simply, "you're just on your period", I get how that can piss you off. It'd be like someone constantly telling lads that they're pissed off because their penis is cramping their style. (Although truth be told, that'd snap me right out of my bad mood if a girl said that to me). It's more of a fear thing than an asshole thing, we just want to avoid an argument about something serious. Even still...

Men are shit for that.

7) "You Look Fine"

You look fine. It means exactly what it says: you don't look unattractive. It's been explained to me, time and time again by girls, that women don't see it that way. They hear the words "You look fine" and their assumption is that they look like a troll-dog with crippling acne. Which is untrue. If we're seeing a girl, we couldn't possibly think that about them! We're always going to think you look attractive. Fine = default attractive, whereas great = beautiful. Admittedly, guys should really know by now that this annoys girls, but it still isn't something worth getting angry about! Ergo...

Men are not shit for that.

8) Saying 'C*nt' Or 'Tits'

This is full on a terrible thing that guys do. I do it occasionally and I cringe at myself everytime I do. To be fair, I only ever use the word 'Cunt' went I want to inject the maximum amount of venom into an insult. I need to really hate someone for it (or be getting absolutely thrashed in Super Mario, whichever). But with 'tits', there really isn't any excuse. It's the language of porn stars and wankers, and should only be used in the mockery of said people.

Men most definitely are shit for that.

9) Making Secret Plans

I didn't even realise I did this until someone pointed it out to me. The complaint I've heard since, from plenty of girls, is that guys will say they'll hang out with you someday and then, on the day, say "Oh, I've actually got plans with the lads. Sorry". We all do it, but you girls need to know, we don't mean to do it! Our plans aren't planned out, like a neat little diary, in our heads. They're mushed up, like a wet clump of tissue paper, overlapping and often lost. On behalf of men everywhere: we are sorry.

It's shit that men do that, but men are not shit for that.

10) Never Asking Directions

This is an age-old dilemma that all guys live with. I get how annoying it is. I know the logical course of action here is to ask for directions, because it will save time, petrol, effort etc. But girls, you have to understand: this is built in. We can't ask for directions. On a deep psychological level, we know asking for directions makes us seem helpless. If we can master geography, we can master the world. You're going to have to live with it.

Men are shit for that.....but we really don't care.

11) Forgetting Dates

Birthdays, anniversaries, valentines day.....every guy is going to forget a couple of these, in every relationship he's in. There are a lot of them. And part of me wants to say, no, it's allowed for guys to forget these things, there are too many dates. But you know what? It's actually not. I've forgotten a few anniversaries or special occasions, but in each situation, it was because I didn't care. If a girl is actually special, if she's really special to that guy...he won't forget. He'll make himself remember, because that'd be the decent thing to do. So, yes.

Men are shit for that.

12) Overly-Thoughtful Gifts

I was surprised at how common this complaint was, because it seems pretty logical that thoughtless gifts would be so much worse. You know, like an Xbox game that is clearly not for him, or a beauty kit that can be picked up easily in Boots or something. But apparently it's a really big issue for girls when a guy gets a really thoughtful and wonderful present for his girlfriend, when she's gotten him something quite standard. What an asshole, you all say. You know what? You love it. You complain, and say you feel terrible about it, but inside, you're just delighted that the biggest flaw in your man is that he buys you nice things.

Men are not shit for that.

13) Farting. On Purpose!

I heard a story once about a guy who farted in bed and then pulled the covers over his girlfriends head and held her down so she couldn't get out. Show of hands, how many of you girls have fallen victim to this horrible act? Guys farting is a natural thing, but when we do it on purpose just to annoy you? That is almost literally a shitty thing to do, and fingers crossed that your fella isn't like this!

Men are shit for that.

14) Never Being Serious

I am more guilty of this than anything on this list. Whenever a big fight is on the horizon, my default reaction is to start cracking jokes, having a laugh and trying to lighten the mood. Which, for some ridiculous reason, drives girls crazy. They genuinely want to have that fight, no matter what! I'm not going to apologize for this, and no guy should. If there is a choice between giggling everything away or having a blow-up argument, I'll choose the giggles every time.

Men are not shit for that.

15) Bitching About Friends

It sucks if guys don't get on well with your mates. To him, some of them are just utter douche-bags, while he sees your closest friend as a shrill drama queen. Which you can't blame him for. If he doesn't like someone, he doesn't like someone. No guy can be blamed for that, just like you can't be blamed for not liking all of his mates. It's only if a guy is an outright dick to your mates, or bitches about them to you, that's when a guy is being a total asshole. A quiet "...they're not really my kind of people" should be all they need to say to get the message across. Not "She really is a staggeringly annoying old wagon, isn't she?"

Men are shit for that.

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