You Again? What to Do When Your One Night Stand Returns For an Encore

One night not too long ago, but long enough that you've almost forgotten it, you had a few drinks too many and decided to take some sweet young thing home with you. Maybe you were lonely, maybe you were going through a breakup, or maybe you just wanted sex. We all have needs. Thing is, that's all you thought it was, just sex. No feelings, no commitments. I mean sure you gave the person your name and maybe even your number but you were just going through the motions, you never actually thought they would be interested in getting together again. How wrong you were. They did the dance with no pants with you and they want a repeat performance. However, you are definitely not interested, but can't bring yourself to be blunt with them. So how to deter them without coming across as a dickhead? By treading carefully friends, treading carefully.

1. Be polite.

Hard to do if you can't even remember the night, but do your best. If they send you a message on Facebook this will be easier because you can creep on their page to make sure it's who you think it is. If they ask how you are, answer and ask them. It's small talk and it's uncomfortable but it's polite. So suck it up and be a decent human being. They are probably trying to suss out if you're a)single or b)interested. So wait it out until they point blank ask you. You can always feign ignorance if they get pissed for being rejected.

2. Don't call them out on a lie.

If they say something like 'Oh hey, I found your number in my notes in my phone, random enough,' and you remember typing it into their phone yourself, don't call them out on it. They are trying to save face and not sound so desperate. They're being brave by even approaching you. Don't make it even more uncomfortable and embarrassing for them.

3. Don't pretend not to know them.

You're better than that, I hope. If you really can't face them - after you suggested some weird sex stuff on that eventful night - you could get away with it more often in real life. Like if you run into each other in a bar you can duck out and/pretend to be another person (coward) or simply pretend not to see them. This works best if you were actual stranger when you engaged in your tryst, it doesn't work well if you were friends - yet another reason why it's not always the best idea to sleep with your friends. However, on Facebook, they can see most of your pictures and friends (unless you've privatised everything). So you're less likely to get away with it, although you still could. So if you could stomach lying about it, go ahead. Deal with that guilt.

4. Don't lead them on.

If they ask how was the illustrious night for you, be honest and say it was fun or a good time if it was and if it wasn't make some joke about it. Don't be cruel. Keep it light but don't mention anything that might get them to think that you'd like to do an encore performance. Like 'we should hang out sometime,' or 'we should get together for coffee.' What are you thinking? You're just either going to go on the most awkward almost date ever or you're going to stand them up and feel crap about it.

5. If they become suggestive, shut it down.

If they keep saying 'we should hang out some time' and you have little to no interest in doing that tell them so, but be nice about it. This is very easy to do if you actually have a new boyfriend/girlfriend because obviously you are not interested in sleeping with anyone other than your current frequent sex partner. If you don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend and don't have the stones to say you aren't interested, lie or keep saying you're busy. Do not say you'd love to come. If your reconnecting is happening over the internet just suck it up and tell them you're not really interested in 'hanging out' with them. Do not give them hope by saying something like 'I'm not interested in a relationship right now' because that infers that you will be interested in a relationship in the future. Be firm, and shut it down.

6. Don't ask to be friends.

Clearly you do not want to be friends with this person. If you did you would have contacted them sooner. You only saw your night as a one-time thing. you weren't interested in being friends with them then, were you? What's changed? Nothing, except for the fact that you have now had sex with them and they want to do it again and you don't. Why invite that drama into your life? Don't even accept their friend request on Facebook - but don't block them, you never know when you might want to have a little creep on there. Only invite them back into your life if you actually want them to be part of your life.

7. Don't accept gifts.

This just encourages them! If you run into them in a bar and you can't get away, or maybe you bump into them after you've already said you're not interested, if they offer you a drink, or a ride home later on in the night. Decline. You don't need them to think that you owe you something. Tell them to have a good night and go back to your friends. Try to forget that they're there and if they start being creepy, leave. There are plenty more places you could go without making someone hate you.

8. Flat out lie.

Definitely not the thing I would encourage but if you've got a flair for story-telling and the spine of a worm this may be your only option. Apologise and say you've had amnesia and it wouldn't be fair to continue a relationship with them because you can't remember it. This may get weird if they claim to be your significant other. If they do, tell them that it wouldn't be fair to stay together because you can't remember how you feel. Keep it going as long as you can without laughing.

9. Screw it. Be Blunt.

Maybe you don't have time to be nice, or maybe you just couldn't be bothered. live's short after all. There's no point entertaining people that you don't want in your life. Flat out tell them you're not interested. But before you go all Hulk Hogan on them, make sure they are actually interested in getting with you. They might just be saying hi, stop being so vain.