Body Hair: Love It Or Loathe it, Here's How To Handle It

I don't know about you, but I've tried Nair, that nasty smelling stuff you rub on yourself that's supposed to make your hair wipe off and doesn't. I've essentially tried shower yoga, doing a downward dog trying to shave different places, and slipping, of course. I've also skipped out on shaving my pits for weeks because I'm so damn feminist. Oh, did I say feminist? No, sorry, I meant lazy. Laziness is why. Yeah, so basically I never know what hair to get rid of to be as sexually appealing as this body will let me be, but I'm gonna attempt to figure that out with you.

1. Brows

You're either born #blessed with non-bushy eyebrows that you don't have to take tweezers to, or you were born with little baby caterpillars. If you've got a lot of work to do, find a place to get them waxed. Personally, it's easier for me to let someone else rip out the hair than to sit there, hand shaky, working up the nerve to pluck the next tiny hair.

2. Arm Hair

If you're like me, your arm hair is dark and thick and kind of looks like a man's calves - I know, so attractive. Well, I'd still recommend you don't touch it. Once you start removing hair, it'll grow in thicker and darker, and even if you think you can keep up with it now, when you're an old grandma you don't want to look like a bear. If anything, try bleaching the hair or getting a lot of sun to let it get blonder.

3. Armpits

Yum...yeah, shave these. You're not really making a political statement by growing bushes under there. Really, you're just letting bacteria thrive and your pits sweat. Again, yum. If you want, you can grow the hair out and then get it waxed so you won't have to shave for a while, but you have to let it grow long before you can wax. AKA no tank tops or cute strapless dresses for a bit. Consider the sacrifice.

4. Legs

So if you wear shorts/skirts/dresses, it's a trap. It means you have to shave your legs a lot. And bend around a lot in the shower as it gets steamier and steamier and you're ready to pass out and then you cut your knees and ankles with the fucking razor. Luckily, in the winter, you can get away with skipping shaving for a while. No Shave November, anyone?

5. PUBES

So this is the tough one. Unfortunately, I've never been brave enough to let some Brazilian woman take a look at my vagina, pour hot wax on it, and then rip the hairs out by their roots. IS THAT NOT FREAKING TERRIFYING TO ANYONE ELSE??? Well, whatever, good for you people who are braver than me. But with shaving, you're going to get gross razor bumps everywhere and look like you have a venereal disease. So...bush? I don't know. I haven't solved this one, friends.