5 Celebrity Relationships That Didn't Last

Like us mere mortals, celebrities take their fair share of breakups and life 'hiccups.'  However, the major difference, (well, apart from being millionaires), is their inability to hide their relationship grievance, it is broadcast all over the world.  Whilst, the average Joe can wallow in Red Aftershock and consistently repeat the same drivel to their friends about he/she, 'always being an arse anyway,' - celebrities are singled out.  If they're wearing sunglasses: they were crying.  If she's wearing baggy clothes: ooh, she's been comforting eating.  Or if he's been out clubbing: he's hand in hand with a 'Jessica' lookalike.  He obviously still likes her.  Us, normals, we're told to tighten up, get on with it.  And, that's that.  We don't make a "Cry me a river" music video.  Alas, here are 6 celebrity relationships that broke up.  Chin up:

1. Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth

Miley - pre twerking - was engaged to an Aussie beaut.  She was an endearing all American gal who actually enjoyed wearing clothes.  Fast forward a few years and amid cheating claims - January Jones, cough - the pair have spilt.  Alas, it was written on the wall.  The one that the "breaking ball" wrecked.  Keep twerking, ya girl ya.

2.  Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston

Yawnnnn.  It was EIGHT years ago, EIGHT.  And, people still talk about their ridiculous split, all thanks to the gorgeous vampire, Angelina Jolie.  They were a golden couple, who actually looked alike, they were besties with good old, Monica and we all loved them.  Then out of nowhere...Angelina and Brad.  To this day, there is not one article about Jennifer Aniston that doesn't mention; Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie.  Fair play, Aniston.  How you coped is beyond us normal humans.



3. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

She's a big cougar, that's her toyboy.  Blah, blah, blah.  Demi got some slack when she married Punk'd star, Ashton.  But then everyone was like, no wait, she's a babe after all that surgery.  So it was fine.  They seemed to be together forever and it was all dandy.  'Mrs Kutcher' twitter name, quirky glasses, epic lifestyle - the works.  And then, like all the others (Tiger Woods, you know who you are), these gals come out with lots of sordid stories about Ashton.  On top of that, these stories surrounded the Kutcher's wedding anniversary.  Thank heavens for normality, cause after the breakup, Demi went craycray, like every other girl about town.  Oh God, then came Mila.  Not to worry Demi, you're a babe.  Tighten up and get some Aftershock into ya.

4.  Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattinson

The perfect, smouldering match.  The biggest stars to explode onto the scene in years, with one word needed: Twilight.  Their chemistry spilled into reality, as did their gurning and sour expressions.  They were THE couple of the new generation.  A couple of years, a few Twilight movies, comicon conventions and premieres later, it all ended.  Little old Kristen did an Angelina and broke the hearts of every twi-hard around.  Bella would never, ever have done that to Edward.  Oh, no wait, she did, with Jacob.  Tut, tut.

5. Taylor Swift and: Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Mayer, One of the Kennedy's, Harry Styles

She makes the big bucks with writing songs about all her exes.  And my, my, she has a whole album's worth there.  With her pure cheese pop beats and frilly dresses, long blonde tresses and immaculate fringe, Taylor Swift is the only female to not be branded with the 'tramp stamp.'  Each boyfriend has been significantly famous, like ridiculously so.  She has been a lucky gal and she's still only feelin' 22.  Apparently, Swift and young, Ed Sheerin have made a pact to get married if they're both single when they're 30.  Ed, get married to the next girl who throws a muppet's doll at you.  Danger, lady in RED.


Melissa McCarthy
Article written by
BA English Grad. Love your style.

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