Everybody loves a gay character, right? Obviously, because there were Disney characters who didn't marry someone of the opposite sex right off the bat, or who preferred hobbies that were generally associated with the other gender, then they must be a homosexual, am I right? Of course I am. (We're on to you, Disney.) Here are the most obviously gay characters in Disney movies. (Ps: If the contents of this article offend you, please feel free to look the word "sarcasm" up in the nearest dictionary.)
1. Dory the Fish.
Ummm hello? Played by a lesbian? Didn't marry Marlin at the end? EVERYONE knows you can't have two characters who are best friends without including sexual tension. Unless of course, one of them is gay. Uh huh. Definitely a lesbian.
2. Oaken - Frozen.
"YOOO HOOO Big summer blowout!" Remember this guy?? Maybe it was the husband and the bunch of kids in the sauna, but I was definitely getting gay vibes from him.
3. Evil Queen - Snow White.
Seriously this woman had self-esteem issues. Maybe her whole jealousy over Snow White's beauty meant that she was in love with her. Meaning she was... *dramatic gasp* A LESBIAN.
4. Captain Hook.
No wife? Overly attached to his mommy? Pirate ship full of men? Yep, definitely a homosexual. Him and Smee all alone in that cabin. Smee attending to his every need... *wink*
5. Sebastian - The Little Mermaid.
Seriously, we're just waiting on Sebastian to come out of the shell at this point. Obviously (and sadly) in love with his King, there's nothing about this little crab that doesn't scream homosexual.
Emotional? Check. Only friend in the world is a guy? Check. No female romantic interests? Check. Likes to hula dance? Check. He even adopted and raised a little lion cub with his best friend, *cough* boyf.
7. Mister Geppetto - Pinocchio's Dad.
Lived alone, owned a toy shop, never had any apparent relationships...? And then a magic fairy gives him a wooden child... Not to mention that all he has in the world is a cat.*suspicion arising*
8. Mulan/Li Shang
So Mulan runs off the join the army, dressed as a man... And you're telling me she's heterosexual? Yeah, okay. There's also that scene with all those hot, soldiers skinny dipping in the lake that she flees from. What was that about? As for Li Shang, he was angry when he discovered that the person he'd obviously been crushing on was a woman. If he was even a little bit not-gay surely he'd have been relieved, or happy. Plus there was all that making a man out of Mulan or something. (We're SO on to you, Disney.)
9. Fix it Felix
Fix it Felix can fix anything with his "magic hammer". I swear there's a sexual pun in there and it's not just me. Felix is definitely gay - I mean, he works out, he's constantly surrounded by adoring women and yet he's "single" and he looks way more groomed than any straight guy. Plus there's also that obsession with the big, strong, dominating Ralph ...