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The Many And Varying Adventures Of Shane Ross

The Many And Varying Adventures Of Shane Ross

Our Minister for Transport, Tourism and Sport Shane Ross went viral lately when masses of adoring crowds came out to welcome Katie Taylor him home after she he become undisputed lightweight boxing champion. Recent photographic developments have discovered that Shane Ross played a part in other important historical events, but ever modest, didn't bother mentioning it to anyone.

 

An instrumental player in Mandela's team. The then-Senator's connections in the Dun Laoghaire Rathdown area proved a key part in getting Mandela out of prison. Reports that Mandela had a holiday home in Stepaside are unconfirmed.

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Many people aren't aware that if you go back far enough, Shane Ross and Queen Elizabeth are cousins. Their grandfather eleven times removed came from Germany back the years. Thanks to Ross' political power, Prince Harry was able to rent out the entirety of Wetherspoons in Dun Laoghaire for his stag do.

Contrary to popular belief, Shane Ross was the one who set up Ole Gunnar Solskjaer to win the Champions League in 1998 for Manchester United, not Teddy Sheringham. Ross had a formidable centre-back partnership with Dutch legend Jaap Stam at one stage. Everyone seems to forget about that.

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Ross was one of the last to lay down arms in the GPO alongside Padraig Pearse. The first few years of his political career were actually orchestrated from Kilmainham Gaol.

This was one of Shane Ross' career high points. Being on hand to welcome the Messiah was something only beaten by winning the undisputed lightweight boxing belt last week. The stable where the baby Jesus was born is actually up near Stepaside, the whole Bethlehem thing was just a ruse.

As you can imagine, there is too much to mention here when it comes to the achievements of Shane Ross. Thankfully, a Hollywood biopic has been announced. Following in the footsteps of Rocketman and Bohemian Rhapsody, we are delighted to announce The Shaneing.

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Joe O'Gorman

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