Everybody's favourite long-of-hair and long-of-body, musical wunderkind Hozier has announced a series of shows in Dublin this September to play material from his upcoming album.
If this sounds appealing to you, I want you to turn to your partner - if your partner is not beside you I would like you to call them - and I would like you to say to them, in a low and earnest voice, "Take me to the Academy." When they gaze back at you in blank confusion, perhaps one eyebrow twitching in bafflement, and you can see, see in their eyes, their questioning of every decision that has led to them choosing you as their current life partner, I would like you to show them this article. Show them that Hozier's concerts are to be in the Academy. When they realise that what you and I were attempting was little more than some flaccid word-play around the title of the songster's most famous ditty, an awkward chuckle, tinged with the relief that you are not as insane as they feared, will pass their lips as they connect the dots. Do not waver. Hold their gaze and with increasing volume I would like you to chant "Take me there, take me there, TAKE ME THERE!" ad nauseum. Do this until they acquiesce and agree to purchase you tickets to see Hozier in the Academy.
Given that the tickets don't go on sale until 9am this Friday, August 17, that gives you plenty of chanting time within which to break their spirit so that they accede. The dates for the shows are as follows in Dublin's Academy;
- Monday, 3 September
- Wednesday, 5 September
- Friday, 7 September
The tickets will be priced at €30 each and will be limited to two per purchase. Hozier has stated that all proceeds from the shows will go to three charities, Safe Ireland, One In Four and the Peter McVerry Trust. They will be exclusively available through the musician's website.
He is also set to announce more dates for the Ireland, UK and Europe on 17 September, in anticipation of the official release of new material.