"I'll Have That For You Next Week" Says Housemate For Eighth Week In A Row

A debt crisis which has gripped a Letterkenny IT student house for several weeks has shown no signs of abating, despite rumours of talks progressing between the housemates concerned.

The financial crisis began around eight weeks ago when one of the students residing in the house, a Mr. Proinsias Taft, needed to borrow "a few quid for a basic shop, for a few bits and bobs".

It was reported that, despite initially being ignored by his housemates, one Mr. Barney Weaver eventually agreed to help the cash-strapped Mr. Taft. Mr. Taft provided strong assurances that he would be able to repay the short-term loan he'd been granted by Mr. Weaver the following week, insisting that he could use the Circle app to transfer him the money.

Mr. Weaver described what subsequently transpired in a recent interview.

I offered to give him the cupla quid sure - I'm a good guy like that - but realised that I didn't actually have any cash, so just gave him my debit card - it was early in the term, we were all still trying to make a good impression with each other. When he said he just wanted to do a basic shop, I was imagining milk, bread maybe - maybe - some budget Czech lager. He was gone for three hours and when he came back he, he...

Mr. Weaver then briefly suspended the interview as he was too overcome by the memory of the occasion to continue. He eventually, in lieu of words, retrieved a thick, folded receipt from his pocket.

He proclaimed the receipt – totalling some €133 - was evidence that Mr. Taft had taken advantage of his generosity and had, far from just “picking up the basics”, done a full shop.

In spite of this, Mr. Taft maintains his innocence; sticking to his story that he just bought "the basics". When quizzed by Mr. Weaver about when he'll be reimbursed, he has maintained that he'll "have that by next week".

"The basics!? He bought a mango. A damn mango. In what world does buying a mango constitute a 'basic shop'!?" continued Mr. Weaver, when he had eventually composed himself. "He tried to say that he got it from the' reduced to clear' section; but I saw that mango. It definitely wasn't. It was plump and ripe as any mango I've seen."

Mr. Weaver then proceeded to run through some of the more jarring items from the receipt:

Mango x 1
Guava x 1
Papaya x 1
Duck confit x 1
Cinnamon sticks x 1
Vermouth - I didn't know they sold vermouth to anyone who was under 50 or not a spy
Frozen bratwurst x 1
Cucumber x 1
Lubricant - I'm choosing not to link these purchases in any deeper way
Jumbo Toblerone - unless he did his shop at an airport, this could only be a cry for help
Decorative throw cushion, red x 3
Decorative throw cushion, floral x 2 -I'm man enough to at least admit that these have helped brighten up the living room, which had, admittedly, been a bit grim
Toilet paper, 24 rolls - this is not basic store-brand toilet paper, mind; we're talking triple ply. Triple. Ply. And he keeps it in his room. Honestly, he could just as easily wipe his hole with the number of bank statements I've been getting showing the desolate wasteland my bank account's become since he went on this spree.

It is alleged that Mr. Weaver has said that, given how much time has passed, he's going to start charging Mr. Taft interest on the debt accrued. In a recently released statement he declared, "Honestly, our financial dealings have become so complex that I've been forced to keep an accountant on retainer to eventually help us sort out this quagmire. Obviously I'm adding the accountant's fee to the money he owes me... I mean he can just easily transfer me the money on Circle, but if he's caused me this much trouble it's about time I return him the favour."

It is understand that Mr. Weaver has threatened legal action if he hears Mr. Taft say "I'll have that for you next week" one more time.

Download the Circle app today and avoid being a sponger.