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Five Intruders A DAY Try To Break Into Love Island Villa

Five Intruders A DAY Try To Break Into Love Island Villa

Troy, Damascus, Stalingrad - they have all been subject to sieges throughout the ages. Now, a new addition can be made to the list, the Love Island villa. Though against its walls do not bang the fists of Greeks, Crusaders or any dang pesky Nazis, no instead, the perimeters of the Love Island villa are besieged by approximately five devious perverts a day.

According to ex-islander, and testosterone reservoir, revealed that a producer had told him that there are an average of five people a day who try to break into the Love Island villa. Five people. A day.

Now, just to be clear, we are talking about five people trying to break IN to the villa. "But surely," you are probably thinking, "Surely they are mistaken and it is really the contestants trying to break out of the villa, to escape, to flee back to civilization away from the harsh unrelenting glare of the sun and the viewer." Apparently that does not appear to be the case. You would think, given the amount of poor unsuspecting women that have been brought in by the producers with the single hope that they might find Dr Alex in any way sexually compatible; you'd've thought that at some point, surely, one of them must've made a break for it. Those poor girls who - like that goat in Jurassic Park - have essentially been brought in as fodder for Alex should surely be on the point of snapping - save, unlike that goat in Jurassic Park, they will not be blessed with the sweet release of death by being torn limb from limb, instead they will have to suffer the ignominy of enduring some profoundly sub-standard flirting from Dr. Alex. They, those girls, they are apparently not trying to escape. People are attempting to join in with the milieu.

This can only lead us to conclude that there are hours of footage cast each day to the cutting room floor which show some of the beefier boys grappling with a hooded intruder, while Wes and Megan repeatedly pushing a ladder away from the balcony which another distressingly creepy individual is trying to scale.

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However, if you were to take the words of a Love Island spokesperson, who was speaking to The Sun, at face value, there are apparently stringent security checks in place with the entire villa being surveyed at all times to ensure the safety of the islanders.

One can only imagine that from now on there will be six attempted intruders a day, as muscly glasses Alex tries to scale the compounds walls in a foolhardy attempt to win back Megan.

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Rory McNab

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