While the Rose of Tralee may have cemented its place as a national institution in the minds of many, there are some out there who have never truly had a relationship with the show. A select few who've never bought into its unashamedly joyous celebration of the achievements of its remarkable contestants. A few who perhaps fail to find the allure in its earnest glamour. I am ashamed to say that I would consider myself among this disgraceful cabal.
However, last night's competition marks the first time that I can honestly say that I am distrought to have missed out on proceedings. It brings me no pride to say that I'm not necessarily upset at having missed out on the crowning of Limerick Rose Sinead Flanagan as the Rose of Tralee. Nor am I too perturbed at having failed to catch sight, of the admittedly haunting image, of Dáithí Ó Sé prowling about the stage in a pair of knee-high kinky boots, an endeavour which raised €24k for charity - presumably to go toward those suffering from any residual mental trauma from having seen Dáithí Ó Sé prowling about the stage in a pair of knee-high kinky boots.
— Rose of Tralee (@RoseofTralee_) 27 August 2019
What I was devastated to have missed out on was the fact that three lads somehow managed get a photograph of a bare arse broadcaset on national television. Finally, a new and hitherto unforeseen aspect has been added to the Rose of Tralee to at last hoover up all those remaining apostates who have not bought into its hype. The show now serves a dual purpose - to celebrate the achievements of Irish women, and to be gamed as a tool to test and troll RTÉ's broadcast policies.
The feat was managed during a segment whereby Dáithí Ó Sé solicited viewers to send in photographs of them watching the programme. What followed from this group of boys was a covert operation of such cunning and duplicity that I'm sure many intelligence agencies around the world are scrambling to try and sign them up - assuming any of these intelligence agencies have any missions on the horizon whereby they'd need a group of boys to sneak a photograph of an arse onto television. The photo sent in appears, at first, innocent, humble. Just three fellas kickin' it on the couch, keepin' it real; enjoying the company of friends and the fine viewing being provided by RTÉ.
— kieran byrne (@kieranb01) 26 August 2019
However, in the top left of the photo, visible in the reflection of the window is very much an arse. A covert arse of an unexpected fourth compadre. The presence of this arse went unspotted by whatever vetting team at RTÉ screens the photos before broadcast, and, before we knew it, a scandal was unleashed upon this nation which threatens to erode the very core of our moral fibre. Its presence did not go unnoticed by some of the moer eagle-eyed viewers, viewers with deeply impressive capacities for spotting arses in photographs taht are appearing briefly as part of a compilation reel.
— Shauna (@Shauna_Phelan) 27 August 2019
An ingenius moment of cunning all round, kudos to all involved.