Something Terrible Has Happened To Zayn Malik's Hair

Something Terrible Has Happened To Zayn Malik's Hair

It's gone. This article could end there, but it won't. We all know what Zayn Malik looks like and we've all seen a bald man before so surely the merging of the two is something that doesn't seem beyond the realms of possibility. And yet, for Zayn Malik's hair to be gone, is still a shock.

It is tragic and, as far as tragedies go, this is up there. It's not in the same realms as anything actually horrifying like war or famine, but as far as celebrity tragedies go this ranks somewhere between the rise of Rebecca Black and Britney locking in a stint as a baldie herself in 2007.

Zayn Malik has been, if we're talking strictly hair-wise, one of the top performing artists of the 21st century. His sultry locks have long proved an adequate distraction from his otherwise sub-par music. But who had time to listen to what was being sung when you were too busy swooning at them luscious locks.

And unfortunately, them locks be no more as Zayn has become a bald man. Gone are the sultry waves of auburn hair we new, replaced by a man who resembles a polished bowling ball with admittedly copious sex appeal.

To say that Twitter has gone into meltdown would be an understatement. Floods of fans of his follicles have, and I feel that it is the only term which can fully describe the reaction, absolutely scuttered their kacks at the news. Thank god there are no other global events happening to potentially distract us from this troubling news that a man who once had hair, temporarily, doesn't have hair anymore - at least for a bit.


Rory McNab

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