There's A Festival Dedicated To Toasties Happening Soon And It Looks Amazing

There's A Festival Dedicated To Toasties Happening Soon And It Looks Amazing

Most tribal cultures that have existed on earth have typically had some manner of celebrating the cycle of the seasons. It seems a nearly universal trait among cultures - particularly among human cultures that developed into agricultural societies - to mark the changing of the seasons with some form of festival. Be it during the winter solstice, to mark the fact that the days will gradually begin to lengthen again, or during phases of crop-planting and harvest, most cultures developed some form of ceremony to help mark these annual traditions.

However, given that most people in the developed world work in climate-controlled offices, and have absolutely no vested interest in marking the changes of the season, we have evidently sought for new avenues to express this latent need for festivity. Forget your sun-gods; throw two fingers up to your rain-gods, and go spit on any wicker effigies to other lesser deities you may have lying around, they are all redundant - for now, in Bray, we have a festival to fill this cultural vacuum. We will now worship, arbitrarily, at the altar of the toastie, in an upcoming Toastie Festival.

That's right, an entire festival, dedicated to heated meats, cheeses and assorted other ingredients pressed between grilled bread. "What," you might reasonably inquire, "might a toastie festival entail other than simply having a slightly higher density of toasties available in one place? Will there be other toast-themed attractions? A toast mascot perhaps? A rollercoaster made of toast - a toastercoaster? Will there perhaps be other, more traditional hallmarks of a festival on display, such as - for example - the sacrifice of a virgin?" These are all reasonable questions. To the best of my knowledge however, the festival will simply involve toasties being promoted more heavily than usual in one particular pub. There will be no bread-based rollercoasters; no human sacrifices - though if this would've proven a deal-breaking point of attraction for you, then perhaps it is better for all that you will not be in attendance.


It will take place in Bray's Harbour Bar, over the weekend of 1-3 November. Should you be interested in hoovering down piping-hot amalgamations of ham, cheese and bread in the vicinity of one of Ireland's few remaining Leisureplexes (Leisureplexii?) then follow the event page on Facebook for updates.

Also Read: The Ultimate Student Survival Guide To Limerick

Rory McNab

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