Arguing, it is one of the three pillars of Christmas, alongside stoically braving through an under-whelming Kris Kindle exchange, and extensive digestive discomfort. Given that the Love Island Christmas Special, despite being filmed several weeks ago, is seeking to as closely as possible emulate the experience of a traditional Christmas - for those ex-housemates whose other media commitments either didn't preclude them from making an appearance, or didn't exist at all - it is no surprise then to see that blood is being bayed for on many fronts.
In anticipation of tonight's showing of the episode, a clip was released into the ether to whet our appetites on the Love Island Twitter page. With several couples from the show having since broken up it was inevitable that at some point, somebody wearing a Christmas jumper would end up screaming at an ex, their knuckles whitening as they furiously clutched a glass of mulled wine, while their ex dabs turkey grease from their lap. Given that Sam and Georgia's post-show break-up seemed to be the most acrimonious, featuring as it did several Instagram posts with him raising suspicions about her fidelity, it comes as no surprise that they were the ex-couple who were immediately at each other's throats.
Isn't Christmas such a lovely, happy, joyful time of year? Er... NO!
— Love Island (@LoveIsland) December 15, 2018
Before digging deeper into the clip, I could not be able to confidently look myself in the mirror each morning and see myself for what I am, 'a provider of perfunctory, web-based media content,' if I did not pursue my journalistic duty and take a minute to examine Sam's new brows. Sam appears to have invested in a pair of HD brows so pronounced and needlessly dramatic that it will surelt bring about the death of the trend. From now on, anyone so much as considering getting some HD brows will have to stop in their tracks; stop and consider, "No matter how much time or money I invest in these delicate strips of hair above my eyes, will they even come close to approximating Sam's? Surely it is folly to think that I could achieve the same ostentatiously severe tonal contrasting that he has? It is surely delusional to imagine that I could hope to have my brows coloured in such a way that so evidently is supposed to be my natural hair colour, while actually being so heinously wide of the mark as to be deeply unsettling? Oh Icarus, fly not too close to the sun lest your waxen brows do melt."
As for the content of the clip, Sam, his face flanked by his brows - so pronounced and discrete that it is not unreasonable to imagine that they may each have names and distinct personalities - confronts Georgia over her alleged disloyalty as a gaggle of the other ex-housemates look on. He berates her for consistently complimenting herself on her own infinite capacity for loyalty while he claims to possess proof that she visited an ex's house at four in the morning. While this is perhaps the most tawdry and universally irrelevant sentence I hope to ever have to write in my career as a provider of perfunctory, web-based media content, it is important not to gloss over the fact that, for however artificial its conception, we're prying apart the disintegration of an actual relationship. At the very least we can console ourselves with the thought that at least Sam will now be able to more visually articulate his own sadness at the situation what with his expressively superior HD brows.
The Love Island Christmas Special airs tonight at 9pm.