Do you ever have nights when you're super tired but you just can't seem to shut off your brain? These thoughts are usually brilliant, enlightening and/or random AF. Here are 50 thoughts we have when lying in bed at night:
1. "Will my ex come to my funeral?"
2. "Will my ex come to my wedding?"
3. "What if my ex is the person I end up marrying?"
4. "Have I even met the person I'll end up marrying?"
5. "What if I never get married? I don't want to be an old cat lady."
6. "Cats aren't that bad. Maybe I could travel around the world with mine and we can Instagram our lives together."
7. "I could bring my BFF along. She's always up for adventure."
8. "I wonder if we really are best friends forever. I hope so."
9. "I suppose if we really do end up splitting ways, I could find another friend to travel the world with me..."
10. "Then again, my cat is more reliable than people."
11. "Would I be considered a reliable person?"
12. "I mean, I am kinda flaky, but I will always be there when someone needs me."
13. "What other parts of my personality need to be improved?"
14. "You know, this is getting too negative. What are the best aspects of my personality?"
15. "Yeah, I'm the shit!"
16. "What kind of phrase is that anyway? Being the shit is a good thing, but being shit is a bad thing? Who came up with this stuff?"
17. "Also, I've heard 'classy as fuck.' How classy is fuck?"
18. "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
19. "Wait. Why can't woodchucks chuck wood? Maybe they can. I'll have to look it up tomorrow."
20. "I should also look up why Pluto can't talk but Goofy can."
21. "Man, I should be writing this stuff down." *gets pen and paper*
22. "What was I going to look up?"
23. "Oh, yeah. Woodchucks and Pluto."
24. "I should wear my Mickey Mouse sweater with some leggings tomorrow."
25. "I remember when leggings started getting popular. I thought it was going to be a dying trend. Boy, was I wrong!"
26. "What else is trendy now?...How do trends start?...How do I start my own trend?"
27. "I mean, I assume I would just have to do something crazy and eventually people would start doing it too. Like the time Regina George wore the tank top with the holes cut in it."
28. "God, I'm not popular enough for that. Do I have enough friends?"
29. "Of course I do! Quality is always better than quantity!"
30. "Except when it comes to pizza. GIVE ME ALL THE PIZZA."
31. "Perhaps I should start working out to counteract all the pizza I eat on a weekly basis."
32. "I could do yoga! Or take a spin class! OR ZUMBA! I LOVE ZUMBA!"
33. "That means I'll have to buy some new workout clothes. Damn, I need some more money."
34. "Maybe I'll start working at that little coffee shop across the street. It's super cute."
35. "Just like my cat."
36. "Maybe I should just marry my cat. Like I said, he's reliable, adorable, a super great cuddler- except when he's hungry. But then again, neither am I when I'm hungry."
37. "I should start eating smaller meals more often. I hear that's good for the metabolism."
38. "I should also start wearing eye cream. I'm going to get wrinkles when I'm older!"
39. "Actually, on second thought, my mother's a babe. I'll be fine."
40. "Unless I age like my dad's side..."
41. "Bah, no use worrying...Oh god! I think I forgot to turn off the oven!" *rushes into kitchen*
42. "Ah, no, I didn't. I got out of bed for no reason. Now I'll have to get comfortable all over again..."
43. "Why am I still awake right now anyway?"
44. "I should Google tips on how to go to bed when you're tired but obviously aren't because you're still lying in bed awake."
45. "Ugh! And when I rushed to the kitchen, my cat left. Now I'm cuddling all alone."
46. "I should get one of those giant cuddle body pillows. Then I don't have to rely on anyone or anything to keep me comfortable- except, well, my pillow. Obviously."
47. "Maybe I should rough it like I'm in the wild. Fend for myself! Then I'll learn to be the ultimate strong, independent person."
48. "Why do we as a society value being strong and independent so much?"
49. "You know, actually, who cares? I'm an awesome person whether I'm strong and independent or not."
50. "But seriously though. Will my ex come to my funeral?"
Video: Thoughts You Have When You Can't Fall Asleep