College: the best four (or potentially more, if you’re lucky) years of your life. It’s an alternate universe where the alcohol is always flowing, classes are essentially irrelevant and, basically, anything and everything goes. Obviously, there are quite a few things we, as college students, don’t even think twice about doing in our alternate universe, but those very things would probably put someone in the real world into cardiac arrest.
As a student in your final year of college, the stress of setting foot in the real world induces a panic attack, some tears and a very long binge-drinking excursion, which is why this list of socially unacceptable (but acceptable right now) things is going to be cherished until the day you set foot off campus. If you’re in college, you’ll know exactly what this article is all about. And if you’re out… well, god bless.
1. Not seeing daylight once all day… because hangovers.
2. Only moving from your bed all day to pee and to let the Domino’s man in… because hangovers.
3. Wearing an XL t-shirt and Nike shorts to class.
4. Wearing an XL t-shirt and Nike shorts to meetings.
5. Wearing an XL t-shirt and Nike shorts literally everywhere.
6. Having a diet that consists of Pot Noodle and McDonalds because you would rather spend money on alcohol and other “recreational activities.”
7. Eating every meal from the comfort of your bed.
8. Using baby powder and/or dry shampoo instead of actually showering.
9. Going out on any day of the week and justifying it with absurd reasons: got a C on an exam, made it to class today, national tequila day, etc.
10. Having a piercing anywhere that is not your ears.
11. Waiting until you run out of underwear to do laundry. Or just buying new underwear cause you're too lazy to do said laundry.
12. Drinking 4 euro bottles of wine, Dutch Gold or any other disgusting (but cheap) alcohol.
13. Funneling and/or shot-gunning and/or chugging whatever is poured into your cup.
14. House decor consisting of tapestries, posters and empty liquor bottles.
15. Sleeping on the couch, floor, bathroom floor or bathtub, and not needing surgery on your back.
16. Throwing up in public the day after a night out.
17. Throwing up in public the day after a night out and it being totally casual.
18. Going through your entire next day with the same hair and makeup from last night.
19. Being poor and drunk, and it being 100 percent acceptable.
20. Eating Nurofen like candy.
21. Partaking in identity theft because fake IDs.
22. Being scared to open your eyes the morning after because who the hell is next you?
23. Walk of shames, following number 22.
24. Being able to get a drink/shot/beer with only two euro.
25. Going to an establishment that even has a drink/shot/beer for two euro. We're looking at you Diceys.
26. Nurofen and Lucozade Sport being your best friend.
27. Asking your parents for money.
28. Having breakfast, lunch, dinner and a fourth meal some time between the times of midnight and 4 am.
29. Eating out of whatever is clean. (Cereal out of a coffee mug? We’ve all been there.)
30. Going to events strictly for the free food.
31. Missing deadlines. And hence losing count of how many times your car has broken down, cat has died, etc.
32. Naps all day, every day, any hour.
34. Waiting until the last minute to beg for extra credit. That doesn’t exist in the real world.
35. Watching entire seasons of shows on Netflix in a single day.
36. Spilling a drink all over yourself and/or someone.
37. Serving drinks out of red solo cups when you have guests over.
38. Fitting an outrageous number of people in your car.
39. Knowing every bouncer on a first-name basis and abusing that privilege.
40. Knowing every bartender on a first name basis and abusing that privilege.
41. Being a complete disgrace to society during the best years of your life.