Life

How To Flirt In A Lecture Without Saying A Word

Sometimes, you might not be in the right place to start a conversation; physically, it might be the wrong place to start talking like the charming b*****d you know you are, or mentally you just can't bring yourself to start talking to her. This is the perfect way of engaging in a little flirty banter for when words just aren't enough. This works really well for boring lectures where you see the girl you fancy the arse off but haven't talked to yet. Here's what you do, ya lil flirt:

1) Sit Down Beside Her

 

A few big no no's here. If you want to ever find her legs around your neck then don't sit where you'll never talk to her. Or worse, be the weird guy who sits near her with two seats between you who asks for a pen. Just sit beside her. That's when you can get the party started...

2) Tear Off A Piece Of Paper

 

Fold it in half and write this on one side:

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Draw a game of X's and O's on the back and throw it into her lap. It's a non-serious way of starting flirting. Playful; now you know how. It's kind of like forbidden flirting when you were in school. Passing notes and all that. It's also a good idea to challenge the lady.

3) The Flanter

 

The outcome of the X's and O's is irrelevant, it's what you do with it that counts. Try starting with an X in the corner and when she puts an O in the middle (usually happens) you can be all like: "Awww you're so good at this, the O in the middle is such a tricky move"; tell her she's cheating, just take the piss a little.

4) Talk About The People In The Room

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Don't go into full bitch mode, but if there are people sitting next to you, write something like: "The chap sitting next to me smells like piss". Only do this sparingly, and if you don't smell, otherwise you won't look better than the other saddos in the room.

 

It's also good to write something like: "Be cool guuurl the lecturer is watching". Make it risky; if there's a chance you might get in trouble, even if you won't, then it's more fun and interesting.

5) Challenge Her Some More

 

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Get her to come up with more things to talk about on the note, and thank her for doing that. You're not a performing animal. Performing animals are pets, and eventually friends. Do you want to be the girl's friend? Didn't think so.

6) Write Down 3 Facts

 

Something like:

3 Facts:

  1. This lecture is boring
  2. Etc.
  3. Etc.
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Along the lines of something fun like that. Then write two more. Again, it's playful and something she's not expecting. Alternatively, you can skip straight to this:

7) 3 Questions

 

  1. When are you getting out of this boring shite?
  2. Why are you here? (if she's not in your class)
  3. IMPORTANT QUESTION! What's your fav colour? Hobby?

 

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Asking a double question is fun and adds to the rapport if she notices and calls you out on it. Asking when she's leaving is a smart move that lets you know when you should ask for her number. You want to leave enough time after getting the number so you can interact some more before she leaves. Getting the phone number and then leaving or her leaving makes it look like you wanted her number and not her company.

 

The whole "IMPORTANT QUESTION" bit should make her laugh because knowing someone's favourite colour right off the bat isn't that important to most people.

8) Pass Notes

Now is the kind of chatty bit. If she tells you her hobby, give your honest opinion on it, unless it's ridiculous. For example, if she says shopping, and you think it's boring, tell her you think it's boring. But, on the other hand, if you think the fact that she's a girl who loves Formula 1 is stupid because she's a girl then that's sexist and ridiculous and you can stop reading this now because you don't deserve to talk to the beautiful girl.

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If you have time, keep this up for a few minutes, then hit her with the last few haymakers to seal this dirty deal:

9) Last Two Questions

 

These won't really be questions, but a  fun thing to do here is draw a little box and ask her to draw a picture, then under that, write out 08--------, as in, the start of a phone number. Then hopefully, if you've gotten this far, she'll give you her number.

10) Finish The Interaction Like A Normal Person

 

Keep passing notes for a few minutes. All the while you should be complimenting her here and there for playing along, then thank her for the fun time you had together and make your suave, smooth and sexy exit. Playa

Tom Quinn
Article written by
"The best there ever was" 10/10- TIME Magazine; "Moved this critic to tears" 9.5/10 - Independent; "Will be sorely missed" - College Times; "The Mighty Quinn"- New York Times

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