Life

The 13 Types of Housemates You Have In College

Odds have it that unless you're lucky enough to live alone, you'll end up with a pretty shit housemate (or housemates) at some point. While they've got their redeemable qualities, they've often got that one big thing that just irks everyone in the house. You'll probably find them on this list, you might even find yourself...

 1. The Clean Freak

 

This is the housemate who can't leave a single crumb on the counter, let alone a sink full of dishes. They are constantly reminding you to pick up after yourself and clean up your dishes, even if you've just sat down to eat. They'll be complaining about how dirty the floor/bathroom/living room is and will often be unnecessarily hoovering.

2. The Alcoholic

 

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This housemate doesn't need a specific reason to drink, but often finds one anyway, just to justify it. Oh, it's the season premiere of Scandal? Let's drink! Can sometimes be found passed out in the living room and is often drinking before noon on the weekend.

3. The Borrower

 

This is the housemate who never actually seems to buy their own stuff. A bit of food here, some shampoo there, but they play it off well. You might not realize this housemate does this until it's a few weeks later and you definitely didn't use all that conditioner or eat all of those bagels. They're often saying they'll run to the store tomorrow, but can they just borrow some for now? Classic deception.

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4. The Night Owl

 

This is the one who doesn't seem to have any actual daytime responsibilities. They're up all hours of the night so they make an awful roommate if you'd, you know, like to sleep or anything. Often attached to their computers doing something that, from the look on their face, is of the utmost importance. More than likely aren't up before midday.

5. The Ghost

 

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You don't actually see them on a day to day basis, you just know they live in the house because there's a spare toothbrush sitting in the bathroom that has to be theirs. They spend basically all their free time in their room, never actually socialising with anyone. They could be dead and you probably wouldn't know for a few days.

6. The Lazy One

 

This is the wanker who doesn't do anything about the house. No cleaning, no buying mutual supplies like toilet paper, and they're constantly nowhere to be found when it's time to tidy up the kitchen or bathroom. Also a huge complainer about other housemates and the lack of work they do, but does nothing to help out.

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7. The Couple

 

You only live with one of them, but they seem to be a package deal. The other half of the couple is basically always at the house, no matter what time of day or night it is and PDA is to an extreme. You see the other half of the couple so often that they're essentially your housemate and you probably have breakfast together quite a bit.

8. The Passive-Aggressive Note Writer

 

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This is the housemate who is afraid of face-to-face confrontation but has no issues with writing passive-aggressive notes. They leave notes absolutely anywhere and everywhere and about almost anything and they've got a sweet but sassy tone to them. This is the person you might have to confront, if only because the notes are so annoying.


9. The Loud Sex-er

 

This one might be a two-fer on The Couple, but this is the person who has sex and doesn't care how loud they are, anytime of day or night. Whether a significant other or a random hookup, they're not concerned if the whole house hears them. You've definitely got the short end of the stick if you end up in the room next to theirs.

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10. The Mum

 

A bit of a more toned down clean freak, the mum also loves to parent every housemate. Often a girl (but hey, we're open to men "mums" of the house), she's definitely one to scold you for not doing your work or staying out too late. She's also constantly organized and often has the extra stuff when you're going out as a group, like stain remover or extra tissues.

11. The Quiet One

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This housemate is a lot like The Ghost, except they actually sit in the common area. There's often a lot of awkward silences with this one, as they observe and don't contribute to conversation. Sometimes they'll be doing other things, but often they're a non-verbal conversation participant.

12. The Loud One

 

This housemate basically doesn't know when to shut up. They laugh too loudly, yell across the house, and are just generally loud enough to be migraine-inducing. They don't really know how to control their volume and can often be heard being shushed by other household members, depending on how late into the night they're talking.

13. The Squatter

 

This person doesn't actually even live with you, but unlike the other half of The Couple, they're just a friend of a housemate. They're constantly at your place, eating any food they can get their hands on, and are often seen lounging on the couch or watching Netflix on the TV that you definitely wanted to use tonight.

Ally Kutz
Article written by
American student interning in Ireland for the semester. Lover of dogs and bad puns.

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