Women are difficult beings to impress at the best of times. It doesn't take much to turn even the sanest of women from a fantastic into a foul mood, in no time at all. You sometimes don't know the right thing to say or do and everything you attempt to do is wrong. Well fear not men, speaking as a woman who regularly needs cheering up, here are 13 easy ways to impress your girlfriend. You're welcome in advance.
1) Cook For Her
Don't use the shitty excuse "I can't cook", because that just won't cut it. With roughly seven billion cookbooks out there, you have no reason to not whip up a culinary feast or, you know, a curry. Even if the end result is more McDonald's than Michelin star, she'll more than appreciate your efforts. They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, well the way into a womans pants is through her stomach. I promise.
2) Clean Up Your Mess (Without Being Told)
There's nothing more off-putting than spending ages getting ready to go over to your boyfriends house (because no matter what lie you choose to believe, we're never just ready to go at the drop of a hat) only to arrive to a house full of horrors. There's shaving, moisturising, plucking and a whole other amount of shit we have to get through before you can even touch us. So can you imagine having to endure all of that and then to be greeted with a floor full of crusty tissues, smelly clothes and week old cups of tea. It's not pleasant, or fair, for that matter. Clean up your room and you'll clean up on action. Probably.
3) Ask About Her Day And Listen To Her Answer
We women love a good rant. It's similar to finally sneezing when you've been trying to do so for the past half hour. Sometimes the little things can all add up and drive you beyond crazy. Worst of all, sometimes we might not have anyone else to rant to. From nightmare housemates, to irritating classmates, to nagging parents, sometimes just asking about her day unleashes the gates of hell and lets her spill out all of those inner frustrations, which, when not aimed at you, is a good thing.
4) Take Care Of Yourself
Girls are more high maintenance, for the most part. It's easy for you to sit back and sneer about how little effort you need to put in while she's constantly on a battle of self improvement. Well stop. Do you think it's fair to sit around in a dirty t-shirt, smelling of pizza, not exercising and just generally letting yourself slide a little? No, it's not. Keep fit, clean, wash, iron your shirt and wear nice aftershave and I guarantee you that she'll notice and appreciate your efforts.
5) Compliment Her
As above, if she's spending two hours getting ready for a night out, then don't just look at her and ask if she's ready to go when she arrives down glamorous as can be. Compliment her, tell her that she looks great, beautiful and then hold her hand and be proud. She's much more likely to have a great night if it starts off on a good note.
6) Bring Her Somewhere She's Always Wanted To Go
I'm not suggesting that you whisk her off to the Maldives, unless of course you can afford to, in which case, can you be my boyfriend? Think smaller than that. Say for example, she's always wanted to do some touristy stuff in her own city. Go on a day tour or visit somewhere two hours away for the weekend. With a couple of weeks of not abusing your bank account it's achievable. Just a thought....
7) Surprise Her
Tell her she has an hour to get ready and then whisk her off for dinner. Bring her to the cinema on a Tuesday. Get her cheap tickets to some far flung city. Buy her a bag of her favourite childhood sweets. Get her the new issue of Cosmo before she gets the chance to. No gesture is too small here, just think about your audience and work with that.
8) Do Something She Enjoys
Ok so sales shopping might not be your idea of fun, but it sure is hers. Perhaps she enjoys going to see up and coming bands, whereas your scene is more deep house techno, but go along with her and if you have to, at least pretend that you're enjoying yourself. Part of being in a relationship is compromise and by joining in with some of her favorite things, you might even find that you enjoy something new too.
9) Give Her Your Full, Undivided Attention
Women hate being ignored. Hell, everyone hates being ignored, or even worse, playing second fiddle to your phone. That said, put your phone away, turn off the television and talk to us, listen and act interested. You'll never know what you might hear.
10) Ask For Her Advice
Speaking on behalf of the entire female population, I can safely say that we all love this shit. We love feeling as though you're opening up to us, trusting us and asking us for advice or even help. Asking her for advice shows that you really trust her opinion and judgement and that you don't see yourself as being above needing her help.
11) Do Some 'Manly' Tasks Without Her Asking You
Before the feminists lose their minds over this one, I know that most women are perfectly capable of doing this themselves and ninety percent of the time, we do. But every once in a while, it'd really be great for you to sweep in and fix the fuse box, attack that mould in the bathroom or basically do anything that involves a tool-belt. Not only is it thoughtful, it also kind of makes us go weak at the knees.
12) Do Something Cheesy
The cheesier the better really. We'll probably pretend not to like things like this, but that's generally just a front. A bunch of flowers on a Wednesday can really work wonders for our mood. Send us a card, leave us a note or buy us some chocolate and you really won't regret it. And the boyfriend of the year goes to....
13) Let Her Choose The Film (And Say Nothing)
There are moments when all we want to do is lie in bed and cry along to some hot couple and their everlasting love. What we do not need is you swooping in and shitting all over this (metaphorically, I hope). Let us be sappy in peace, but if you'd like to join us during chick flick hour, then we'd really like this too. Thanks in advance, every girl ever.