At this stage, you're no stranger to kissing someone. You know how it's done. Things were fairly fun in school but then once you got to college a whole different ball game began. What with student nights abundant and promoters literally pouring drinks down your throat for the pocket change - things got all sorts of randy. Your scoring chart went onto multiple figures and kissing, say, 2 people a week really was nothing special.
But then you began to notice a pattern in this scoring. The drunken ones especially fell into a pattern. Most nights around 2.30 you just found yourself scoring someone. These are the 7 types of drunken score you can have:
THE OH MY GOD I'VE SCORED A COMPLETE RIDE
This is a rare occurrence indeed. Did you light a candle yesterday in mass for yourself or have you been engaging in witchcraft? We're jealous. If this happens to you, thank your lucky stars.
THE LIAR
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This guy will make anything up to get in with you; his job, where he lives, what he is studying, has he a girlfriend? He won't answer any of this honestly… #annoying
THE IT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA TO SCORE A CLOSE FRIEND NOW THIS IS AWKWARD
You went for a friendly drink and while drinking you realised that you two are such good friends, what more could you want? Alcohol got the better of you. You lunged in. He responded. The second you came up for air you realized it was a mistake.
THE MINGER
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It happens. That's all we can say in hindsight. We don't know why we do this to ourselves but we just do.
THE SLEAZY BARMAN
At first, it seems handy that he's plying you with free drinks, but then you think he looks cute behind the bar. You keep catching his eye. You score…
THE DICKHEAD
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This guy seems nice initially but once you kiss him you realize he's mildly racist/ageists/scabby or just an asshole. It's very annoying. When you leave he's rude to you obviously.
THE HAPPY ACCIDENT
You're both equally trashed. You score and when you come up for air with your excuse to scuttle off into the night, you realize there's no need. This guy is hot and also lovely…
THE MAN WHO'S JUST ABOUT TO MOVE TO AUSTRALIA FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE
Again there is something odd about the fact that you live in Ireland all your life. Someone else did too. They decide to move to the other side of the world and on their last night out you two meet and really hit it off.
