We're lucky if we get any action at all. But there's one guy in College Times who skidaddles off on dates every day of the week. He's currently seeing a Latina.. The Lucky Duck..
This is what he now knows:
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10. Mispronounce her name. I don’t care if her name is super-hard to pronounce, like Xochitl. If you can’t get her name right, you can’t get her number. You should take the time to learn it, and not just guess how it's pronounced.
9. Call us “mami.” There’s nothing sexy about having the man you could potentially sleep with call you mom.
8. Neglect her family. When you date a Latina, you date her entire family. So get ready to learn everyone’s birthdays, anniversaries, and ovulation schedules. Si no, they’ll vote you out of the picture.
7. Refuse to learn Spanish or Portuguese. Even if the girl you’re dating doesn’t speak the language that well or that often, chances are her abuelita or tio Neco does, so it’s important that you understand them. Besides, if you don’t know any Spanish, you’re making it too easy for her cousins to convince you that “mamame” means “pardon me” in Spanish.
6. Be a jealous, controlling d-bag. Forget what you’ve heard, most Latinas do not put up with lame machistas, even if the media convinces you that we are obedient and submissive to our men. If you want someone who’ll obey you, get a dog.
5. Ask her to call you papi. It's like what Maury says: “You are NOT the father,” so stop asking her call you dad.
4. Ask her to choose between you and her mother. Oh, it’s cute that you think you have a shot in hell at winning. Latinas are ride or die for their mamis (and it works both ways), so you’ll always lose that battle. If you have an issue, talk to your girlfriend about it, and you can work through it together.
3. Decline abuelita’s food. In Latino culture, turning down someone’s food is the same as spitting in their face. Don’t spit in your girlfriend’s grandmother’s face.
2. Blame our “Latin temper” for anything. “Latin tempers” are a stereotype. If you messed up and we get mad, take responsibility.
1. Introduce her as your [insert ethnicity here] girlfriend.Introducing her as your Puerto Rican girlfriend is a quick and easy way to become her ex-boyfriend.
H/T cosmo.
