Nowadays, Tinder has become notorious for being the 'meet up/hook up' app. You left or right swipe (‘nope’ or ‘like’ respectively) the profiles of people within an age and distance range that you can change. If you and someone else have both right swiped on each other's profiles, you’ll ‘match’ and be able to chat. (Usually pure shite talk leading to nothing.) But regardless of whether you’re looking for a one-time fling or a long-lasting partnership, you download an app like this with serious goals in mind. (Mine is to find someone to split a Dominos meal deal with) Here are the 10 things everyone hates to see on Tinder profiles.
1. Topless Mirror/Gym Selfies
(Specifically directed at men. I'm pretty sure men would like if girls did this.) PLEASE. STOP. Narcissism is at an all time high these days, I realise that, but nobody is attracted to a lad that tenses and takes a posed photo in front of the mirror. I get that you go to the gym, and that gym is LIFE, but maybe write that in your bio and let me find your pecks by myself, thank you.
2. Profiles With No Description
I know that the first thing I judge you on is your appearance, but I do want to know a little bit about you. Like what if you like Pepsi over Coke? I could never be with you. Please disclose in your Tinder bio what fizzy drink you prefer, it will make things much easier for you in the future. Also what’s your favourite movie? What are your hobbies? Are you currently possessed by any kind of supernatural entity? I’d love to know.
3. “Chances Are I Love My Dog More Than I Love You.”
I love dogs as much as the next gal, but this sentence automatically deserves a left swipe. Even if you are joking, how am I supposed to know? What if you actually love your dog more than me? I don’t know how to deal with that - what if I was a cat person? (I'm not though, they're hissing beings of satan.)
4. If Group Photos Are Your Only Photos.
I don’t mind seeing a group photo in your Tinder profile, I have a picture of me and my m8s too. But if every single picture is a group photo, I’m not going to be able to tell which one is you. Okay, I get that you have a social life, that’s cool. But I’m not hoping to meet up with one person and have four people show up and make me guess which one of you is “John." I’m not into those kinds of games.
5. "Follow My Instagram And Get To Know Me."
Pls. Why would you redirect me to another app? You’re wasting my time with this mindless run around. This means I have to go all the way through your profile and find your Instagram. I just can’t help but feel like I’m putting in way more effort than I should just to talk to you. Also your instagram is usually just topless mirror selfies, in this case refer back to number 1 please.
6. “You Have To Message First”
What if I can't? You probably won't. We both lose. If you like it, message it. That's the way this works.
7. Photos Taken From Afar/With Sunglasses On.
Maybe this is just a pet peeve of my own, but LET ME SEE YOUR FACE. Sunglasses in every photo, that's not right. I don't want a professionally taken headshot of you, but at lease give me a clear shot of your face. After all, that's all we go on when we're on Tinder.
8. No Smiles
Someone with photo after photo of them just staring at the camera blankly, freak me out so much. Are you OK? Why are you a blank wall of no emotions? Have you seen some terrible things? Did you live through the Great War? Did your dog just die after every single one of these photos? If the answer to all of the above is no, then you have no excuse. Just smile please.
9. Specifying Your Height
I don't need to know straight away that you are too tall/too small for me. Let's live in the moment a little bit and pretend that we could be OK together just for a little while. Let's pretend that I won't tower over you everywhere we go. Or in the other case, let's pretend I'm not going to be mistaken for your daughter because I'm only as tall as your waist. CAN WE JUST PRETEND.
10. Excessive Emojis.
If someone starts writing to me and they use the crying laughing face, beside a girl emoji, beside a heart eyed emoji face, that's it. I'm done. I'm logging out for life. Deleting my profile. Goodbye.