10 Thoughts You Have When You've Been Single Too Long

When you're single for a long period of time, you start to get a little panicked...You start thinking shit like: Is there something wrong with me? Do I smell? Have bad habits, etc.?! Worry not! It's happens to the best of us...Here what we all think when we're single too long...

1. If Any New Guy Wants Me To Not Be Single, Then He Needs To Accept I Wear Pyjamas 47% Of My Life Now.

I've just arrived home? Jammies on straight away. Any guy I meet now absolutely has to find that attractive. Simple. I am SO not getting involved with that whole stage where I pretend that I'm all cool and actually wear adult clothes all the time..pffft.


2. Do Mail-Order Husbands Exist?

Well, do they? I'm just curious...


3. I Wonder Would * Insert-Name-Of-Most-Hopeless-Male-In-Friend-Group-Here* Agree To Marry If We Both Reach Thirty And Are Both Alone?

At least all our friends would be at the wedding. And there would be alcohol...


4. How Can I Be Considered Single Really When I Literally Have Chocolate In My Life?

Like, it's the love of my life anyways. So I'm not really alone then, am I? *whimpers and cracks off another chocolate square*



5. My Vagina Is Probably Haunted By Now.

I mean, it's obviously not, but still... it's been a while, y'know?

6. I'm Going To Volunteer In Africa...


Fuck it, why not?! I've got no stupid man to hold me down and it would be so rewarding... I mean, look at those poor African babies on the television!...Yeah I'd totally do it... Next Summer... Maybe... *snuggles deeper into pyjamas and cracks off another chocolate square.*


7. I'm Going To Be Single Forever.

I know I won't be, but right now it feels that way...Gaaahhh!!!



8. Why Can't The Love Of My Life Just Stop Dragging His Heels And Just... You Know... Appear...? Like... Now?!

He is taking his sweet-ass time TBH.


9. Maybe I've Been A Lesbian All Along?


And thats why I've had such shitty luck with men... I must be giving off lesbian vibes?!... Probably still be single even if I was...


10. Screw It, I'm Done Worrying!

Its literally not gonna change my sitch'... Imma just do me! And that's totally cool right now!



Video: What It’s Like Being The Perpetually Single Friend



Credit: BuzzFeedViolet

Stephen Brennan
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