12 Signs He's A Manchild

'Manchild' has been culturally defined as a male, who has officially entered his adult years but whose characteristics are similar to a child's. More now than every have the race of "Manchild" roam through the bars and clubs of our modern lives. But some are harder to spot than others. Here are the 12 signs he's a Manchild.

12. He's A Bitter Betty When You Succeed At Something

You've got a pay increase! You've got your dream job! You got a "Pass Go Collect 200" card in Monopoly! No matter what, it seems any time you succeed he do anything to knock you off your high horse. This is done out of his own insecurities and sense of worthlessness. Ignore him.

11. He Won't Take Care Of Himself

He can, but won't. This could be anything from going to the doctor to sorting out his finances. He knows he can do it, but doesn't for two reasons; the first one being that it's just easier. The second one being that he thinks it'll be will just go away. Either way if he can't look after himself how is going to take on any more responsibilities?


10. They Are Overly Stubborn

You can admit your wrong, even if you don't like too. But this chap will just keep insisting your wrong, even if he knows you aren't. This can get to a rather petty level, which usually leads to pointing fingers at everyone, except himself.

9. Their Sense Of Humour Lies More Towards Fart Noises Than Quick Wit

Fair enough, farts are still funny at every age. But if he's one to google 'people falling over' compilations and watches nothing but Family Guy and Spongebob, than you have yourself a manchild.


8. Their Mothers Still Do Their Washing

We all need a little help from our parents once in a while. But any lad who brings his washing home every weekend after the age of 21 seriously needs to reconsider growing a pair of balls. Any guy who does this clearly has the bare minimum of life skills, or he's just not bothered, or both.

7. Cereal Is Not Just For Breakfast, But For Any Occasion

Everyone has the occasional bowl of Coco Pops for dinner. But this guy lives off the stuff. Chances are he doesn't wash up after himself and has no problem resorting to eating cereal from cups.


6. They Still Draw Knobs On Everything

The days of drawing knobs all over their geography books have not left them. You find very detailed drawing of cocks all over the place, each one he is very proud of. No doubt you'll get Snapchats of willies drawn into his mates mouth. Charming.

5. Banter With The Lads Still Involves Smashing Up Things And Beating Up Each Other

A burst of testorone is nothing to classify as Manchild behaviour. Lads need to let steam off, and this is just a good way for them to do it. But it's the lads who spend there days looking for windows to smash, start fights for the sake of it and finding it hilarious. Not worth the time of day.


4. They're Incapable Of Acting (Accepting) Their Age

If they accept the fact that they're getting older, and therefore wiser, than that means they'll have to start acting their act. For a Manchild it's easier to ignore there act, using the excuse that "it's just a number". They'll say this to themselves enough before wondering why they can't find a girlfriend.

3. They Have The Same Shitty Job Since They Were A Teenager

Circumstances apply to this point. Obviously if he is working towards a future for himself but needs a stable job, then this is completely understandable. But the college drop-out, who's been working there since 5th year and just kind of exists behind the counter in Centra is unacceptable.


2. He Constantly Shifts Opinions/Feelings About Everything

One moment he can't get enough of you, the next he's sitting on the other side of the room. Guys who act tend to be undecided on how they feel no just towards you, but the situation. A man will think about how he feels and will come to a conclusion, whatever that may be. A Manchild will unwillingly put you on this emotional roller-coaster with him, while he tries to come to a conclusion.

1. He Takes Forever To Text Back

The flow conversation is very stop-and-start with this guy. This is understandable if he's in work or out with his mates, but if he's in his pjs at home, then this can be really annoying. Realistically, texting is literally a conversation which takes place via. sms, however he thinks it's fine just to take his time to write back, and when he does, the response is mundane.

Catherine Munnelly
Article written by
Catherine Munnelly is a colourfully-haired UCD graduate with a degree in reading books. A pint-sized bundle of wisdom, she has mastered the game of Flip-Cup, enjoys the company of bearded-men and despises rude people. When she's not writing or talking about her dog, you'll find her wandering around Europe telling folk that Leprechauns exist and Bono's her uncle.
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