We all know the feeling of being in a new relationship. You know, the constant giddy feeling, the scrutinizing of every text message and checking your phone every 32 seconds hoping that their name will pop up and you will be inundated with butterflies. But, like everything else, the honeymoon period ends. Sure, your undeniable love for each other is still there, but social boundaries? Hmm not so much.
1. The farts start.
Now this is harmless, especially your tiny little farts. But his hideous beast farts brought straight from the depths of hell are a completely different story. You disgusting animal.
2. You only really do your hair and make-up for a day out with the girls.
As soon as you're home, the hair is up, the make-up is off, and it's all systems a go with the pink polka dot dressing gown. Yes... I'm aware I'm sexy.
3. All your Christmases come at once when he has a spot to pop.
GIMME GIMME GIMME. 10 bonus points if it hurts when you pop it... Cruel, yet satisfying.
4. Spending time in silence.
It's actually kind of comforting not feeling the need to talk to enjoy time together. Either that or is nice when he occasionally shuts up.
5. A decent TV series becomes more important than sex.
Sorry babe I have Pretty Little Liars to watch. Don't touch me, don't speak to me, don't even look at me. Unless you have pizza. Pizza is fine.
6. Using the loo whilst he is in the bath.
I hope to GOD this isn't just me, because if it is I've just outed how foul I am to the internet. But you know, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
7. Your opinions on each other's families become brutally honest.
Your dad's food tastes like sh*t, and your sister's feet smell like mince meat. Sorry not sorry.
8. Toenails can be clipped anywhere.
Nowhere is off limits. The lounge, the bedroom, the bathroom....
9. Meals out no longer last 2 hours... more like 40 minutes maximum.
Look, I don't need to guffaw over an overpriced lasagne. What I do need however is for you to play with my hair whilst I pet my dog, and spend time with my other favourite guys, Ben & Jerry.
10. Manners go out the window.
No, I won't choose the salad so there is no chance of spilling, I will order that Bolognese, dribble it all over my life, and get you to clean it up. No shame.
11. Your inner psycho comes out.
We all have our own inner crazy self. No, I don't care if she's your cousin, I don't want you seeing her again!
12. And you often find your jeans no longer fit.